These Things I Know
by genevra
Summary: You may think you have finally have what you always wanted but the truth is still this you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.
1. Unraveled

**Gilmore Girls**

**These Things I Know**

**A/N:** I know, again, I should finish my other stories first but I just saw the end of Season Five and my mind will not stop thinking about Logan and Rory so I had to write this. Happy reading! Genevra.

**Summary:** You might finally have what you thought you always wanted but the truth is this- you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls in anyway.

* * *

**Chapter One:**_ Unraveled_

* * *

"You look sad," the woman said, eyeing off Rory.

"I am, a little," Rory replied, distracted. She toyed with the platinum and diamond wedding band and matching engagement ring that adorned her ring finger.

"You're married, honey?" the lady asked. "But you're so young. Why?"

"I was in love," Rory answered, looking up but not seeing anything.

"And now?" the woman prodded.

"I'm not in love anymore," she said. "With him."

"Marriage isn't always about love," the woman said, gently.

"I'm going home to tell my husband that I'm leaving him for another man," she said suddenly. She looked at the woman, her eyes blank and her face emotionless. "I want my marriage to be about love and it isn't anymore so I'm leaving. It's not what I wanted it to be, what I thought it was going to be and you don't know so you have no right to tell me what to do or what marriage is or isn't about."

The lady gazed at her, eyes widened in shock. She swallowed and nodded before turning back to face the front of the bus. Rory hit the buzzer and stood up, getting herself ready to disembark.

"Honey," the lady said, grabbing Rory's arm. "Think about this. Carefully. Once this is done, you can't go back."

"I thought about it," Rory said, as the bus pulled up in front of the Stanford Gazette building. "And I don't want to go back."

"Then you don't deserve him," the woman sighed. Rory ignored her and trod down the aisle but she knew the lady was right. She didn't deserve him and he didn't deserve what she was about to do to him.

A limo was waiting, just down the street. Rory walked towards it dejectedly but in relief. The constant bus and train-rides backwards and forwards to Stars Hollow were taking a toll on her normally limousine chauffeured body. Her whole body sank into the seat, exhausted, as the car began to drive off towards home. She was quiet. None of her usual music on the radio. No frenetic typing of the computer. Nothing. Just silence. Her and her thoughts.

She turned the music on suddenly, hoping for a reprieve. There was none. If she was so sure this was the right thing to do, why did it hurt so much?

She knew why. She had sworn to love this man through anything and everything. She had given him her life and become him. They had become one person, their souls had attached and now, she was going home to break that bond. To rip their souls apart.

She was mean, awful, a certified home-wrecker. She didn't deserve the limo she was in or the Diane von Furstenberg dress she wore. She didn't deserve him doting on her and loving her. She deserved nothing but two brown paper bags, one for her to wear, one for her head. She deserved a cardboard box on a New York sidewalk. She deserved to die in her own bile and vomit and yet, here she was, going to do it anyway. She had too. She knew it because if she didn't it would eat it at her and gouge at her and there would be nothing left and this would happen anyway.

It was inevitable and everybody knew, there was no use putting off the inevitable.

-

She let herself into the house. It was dark and cold. She felt her way around searching for the nearest light-switch. She wasn't used to this, sneaking around in the dead of the night. Normally there were maids everywhere and lights were on. The house looked different in this light. Ghostly and gothic and yet, Rory felt strangely calm and collected. She gave up trying to find a light switch and felt her way up the marble stairs, one at a time. She looked for a light under a doorway and headed for it. She knocked lightly. One time, two times, three times.

"Logan?" she called out, quietly. There was no answer so she slipped the door open and slid in. He sat on his red wing-backed chair, gazing at the fire. She closed her eyes and breathed in the smell of the smoke, hoping it would bring her some calm. She was rattled now and nauseous. The butterflies flew around and knots tied in her stomach. Her head pounded and she suddenly felt dizzy. She made her way over to him and knelt in front if his chair. "Logan, look at me."

He didn't move. She sighed and placed her hands on his thighs. A lump began to grow in her throat but she kept her resolve.

"You're leaving me, aren't you?" he asked, still staring at the fire. A sob rose in her throat and tears slipped down her face. He found her chin and took it between his fingers, brining her face up to look into his. "I knew it. You're going back to your carpenter."

"Logan, I'm so sorry," she started.

"Don't, Ace," he whispered, trying to smile. "I saw it coming a mile along. Don't worry about me. I've got a couple of girls lined up anyway."

Her stomach turned when she thought of Logan with another girl but she knew she had no right to feel that way. She had betrayed him.

"Logan," she tried again. He leant down and kissed her, licking some of her salty tears away.

"Just go, Ace," he said. "Pack an overnight bag and go. I'll have someone take the rest of your stuff over tomorrow."

She stood up and began to walk to the door, her knees buckling as she walked away from the chair. He reached out to stop her and she kissed his hand.

"Logan…"

"Just go, Rory!" he snapped. "Go!"

She walked away quickly and into the bedroom where she furiously packed a bag. She pulled a letter of her handbag and placed it on the bureau. She knew he wouldn't read straight away but she hoped he wouldn't rip it up. It was important he knew, important he understood.

She walked down the hallway, a few lights had been lit now, and she passed Logan's study door. She knocked quietly and opened it before he had a chance to respond. He turned around, his eyes were teary but his position hadn't changed.

"I'm leaving now," she said, quietly. He didn't respond. "I just wanted to say goodbye."

"Well, now you have," he said, turning around.

"It doesn't have to be like this," she said.

"What do you expect it to be like? Did you want me to throw you a party? Surprise, I am. The initiation's the mail," he said. "Please come. I'd love you there."

"Fine," she said, moving away from the door. "I'll see you."

"Not if I see you first, Ace," he shot back as she closed the door.

She clutched her stomach as she walked down the stairs.

She knew he wasn't joking. He meant it.

-

She knew she should have gone straight to Dean's. She had promised him she would but as she walked towards the limo that waited for her, she knew she couldn't do it.

She hopped into the limo and stared blankly ahead.

"Where to Mrs. Huntzberger?" Frank asked.

"The Stamford Inn," she said, quietly, almost wanting him not to hear. He nodded and raised the partition before heading away. Rory looked up at the window of Logan's study and her breath caught in her throat as she saw his silhouette standing there, watching her leave.

She rode the rest of the way in silence. She wanted nothing but peace and nothing but quiet. The sound of the wheels against the road was too loud. The sound of the running motor was too much. Even the sound of her own breathing began to get to her. She needed the silence, craved the silence so she didn't have to think and didn't have to feel.

"It shouldn't hurt this much," she whispered, as she lay on the gold jacquard covered bed.

She had chosen to leave him. She had chosen to break their vows. She was the one who had chosen to tear their souls apart. She didn't deserve to miss him already, not when she was the one who had left. But she couldn't explain it. She did.

The reception desk rang and she organized an eight am wake-up call. She had a quick shower, changed into her pyjamas and crashed onto the bed. She was suddenly too exhausted. She hated to think about how Logan must feel.

Logan. The name brought up so many feelings in her. Some good, some bad, some just there. She had seen the look on his face and she knew she had broken him. The one boy who understood her and felt comfortable in her quasi-privileged life. The one who had helped her become the person she was supposed to be, the one who had taught her and loved her and lover her more. They had changed for each other and now, for Dean, her Dean, she was throwing it all away.

Tears sprang to her eyes and she knew it was finally time to cry. She started sobbing before she even had time to think. All coherent thought washed from her mind and she occupied herself with crying, crying so hard she wept, and then weeping so heard she began to retch. She staggered to the bathroom and threw up the entire contents of her stomach. She sunk to the floor and began to cry again, crying until she could cry no more.

She stood up and looked at her reflection in the mirror. He would hate seeing her like this. All red-eyes and runny nose. Hair all messed and creases and tear-tracks down her face.

She wondered how he was feeling and she almost, _almost_, called him but then she remembered.

She was the one who had left him. And she didn't love him anymore.

-

Alone in his study, in his house, Logan picked up the one photo he had in the room. A framed black and white of he and Rory on his wedding day that he had commissioned himself. Her veil framed her face perfectly as she gazed at him, her face full frontal to the camera, and he gazed back his own face only shown from the side. He marveled at her beauty then and he marveled at her beauty now but what really amazed him was her strong resolve. She barely broke when she told him. She barely even trembled until the end.

He gazed at the photo now, trying to remember the exact moment it had been taken, but he couldn't. All he knew was that they had been happy. And for eight months after, they had been happy too but then started the secret bus-rides and the frequent visit to her mother's. That was when she started to grow distant and it all began to unravel. And now, two months later when they had been married for all of ten months, she left.

He thought about work the next day and what the household staff would say when Rory stayed away for so long. She would not be at work the next day, that he knew. She would probably never be at work again. He would not wake up next to her or leave work with her. They were not together anymore.

A lone tear snaked its way down his cheek and furiously, Logan wiped it away. He was a man. He was a man and he was a Huntzberger and neither men nor Huntzberger's cried and he would not change that tonight.


	2. Baggage

**Gilmore Girls**

**These Things I Know**

**A/N:** I know, again, I should finish my other stories first but I just saw the end of Season Five and my mind will not stop thinking about Logan and Rory so I had to write this. Happy reading! Genevra.

**Summary:** You might finally have what you thought you always wanted but the truth is this- you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls in anyway.

* * *

**Chapter Two:** Baggage

* * *

"Dean?" Rory called, letting herself in. She walked in and found her Botega Veneta suitcases stacked in the hallway. She touched the leather and felt pain stab her stomach.

"Rory, that you?" Dean called from down the hall. She made her way to the kitchen and around the dining room table.

"Hey," she said, placing her cool hands on his back. He turned around and traced the outline of her face before kissing her. She closed her eyes and Logan's face popped into her mind. She opened her eyes and blinked.

"You okay?" Dean asked, pulling slightly away.

"Fine," she replied, leaning in to kiss him again.

"You're here now?"

"I'm here, Dean," she replied, feeling the energy drain out of her. "Who bought my stuff over?"

"Some black guy in a limo," Dean answered, nonchalantly. Rory knew automatically it was Frank as she had released them the night before. Dean's indifference to who he was annoyed her considering Dean himself wasn't the richest guy on the block.

"His name is Frank," Rory said.

"He's you chauffeur," Dean replied.

"Was," Rory corrected. "I don't have one anymore. But Frank was more than a driver. He was my friend."

"Who drove you around," Dean retorted, getting annoyed.

"Whatever," Rory said. "I'm going to move in my suitcases out of the hallway."

"You want some help?" Dean asked.

"I'm fine," Rory snapped.

"Aren't you going to unpack?" Dean said, after watching Rory drag her suitcases into the spare room.

"Have you seen the size of your closets?" she said, loftily. "There's no room. My clothes are expensive. I'd rather just keep them in my suitcase."

"That's going to damage them more," Dean explained.

"I know," Rory said.

"Are you having second thoughts?" Dean asked.

"I'm just not ready yet!" she snapped. "I didn't even leave my husband twelve hours ago and you're asking me to move on."

"That's right. You left him to start a life with me," Dean retorted.

"That doesn't make it any easier," she shot back. " I just feel so broken. Weren't you hurt when you left Lindsay?"

"Of course," he said. "But I got over it."

"Yeah," Rory agreed. "Exactly. In time. I'm not over it yet."

She slammed the door behind her and sunk down to the ground in front of the door. Her whole body shook with the sobs and she was sure she was banging the door. She heard a knock on the door and Dean call out her voice, softly.

"Go away!" she screamed.

"Rory, please," he said. "Let me in. I'm sorry."

"I just want to be alone," she cried. She heard Dean finally sigh and give up. His feet clomped in his work boots as he walked down the hall and back to the kitchen where he had been fixing the sink.

It all seemed so homey and domestic. Everything she thought she had ever wanted but when she had seen him, she had fought the urge to offer to call her and Logan's plumber. It seemed the rich and famous lifestyle had overtaken her more than she had thought.

She crawled over to the suitcases and opened the first one. Photo albums.

She started crying again before she even opened it. She knew what was in there.

Wedding photos.

-

"Logan, I have someone on the phone for Rory," his assistant said, poking her head through the door. "What should I tell them?"

"Put them through to me," he said, looking straight through her. She nodded and walked back out to her desk. Logan's phone started to ring and he picked it up. "Logan Huntzberger."

"Mr. Huntzberger, it's Alison from NYT," the woman said. "I was actually after your wife."

"My wife has gone back home for awhile," Logan explained. "There was a situation and I don't know how long she's going to be. I was going to let everybody know in an e-mail later today."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Alison replied. "I hope everything turns out okay."

"So do I," he replied, without missing a beat.

"Whom will I be dealing with instead of her?" she asked.

"We haven't decided yet," he admitted. "I'll let you know as soon as I know who'll be taking her position."

"Thank you and again, I hope everything works out okay," she said.

"Again, so do I. Thanks for calling, Alison," he said, hanging up. The phone rang immediately.

"Mr. Huntzberger, it's Marisa," their housekeeper said in her Spanish accent. "Someone is here to see Mrs. Huntzberger. An appointment she forgot about perhaps. What should I do?"

"She must have forgotten," Logan replied. "Marisa, please just tell everyone what I told you. That Mrs. Huntzberger had to go back home for awhile because there's a family situation."

"Yes, Mr. Huntzberger," she replied. "Sorry to bother you at work."

"It's fine, Marisa," he answered. "Have a nice day."

"Oh, you too, Mr. Huntzberger," she replied, hanging up.

Logan's eyes automatically traveled to the framed photos on the wall. Photos of Rory and of him and Rory. One of the Gilmore/Danes family and another of the Huntzberger family but mostly there were photos of his wife. He wanted to take them down but that meant admitting defeat. He knew Rory had been devastated when she'd left and he knew she was not in love with Dean no matter what she thought.

He noticed an email he hadn't seen before sent at 4am the morning before. It was from Rory, the notes for the stories she had been working on to give to her replacement. That was her way of telling him, as if the fact that it was 11am and she had yet to show her face at the office wasn't telling enough, that she was not coming back.

The phone rang again and Logan sighed before picking it up.

"Logan Huntzberger," he said.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself."

"I was just wondering if you'd decided whom to replace me with yet," she said.

"Stephanie's always available," he said, unable to take a jibe at his wife. "Or maybe Whitney. You met her, remember? I hear she's single."

"Ouch," Rory said.

"You deserve that, Ace, and you know it," he replied

"I know," she agreed. "Let me rephrase that question, have you decided who to replace me with at the newspaper?"

"Not yet," he answered, his voice cold and distant. He heard Rory sniffle and he noticed her voice was nasal. She had been crying.

"Well, I thought you might like a suggestion," she said. "Anna Vasquez."

"Really? You think?" he asked.

"She's a terrific write and I've been working with her lots lately," Rory explained.

"But she's a junior staffer."

"She's also the junior staffer who has more above-the-fold's than some of our senior staffers," Rory shot back.

"True," Logan agreed. "But still…"

"Promote her," Rory said. "And if you don't, I will."

"Fine," he settled. "I will."

"Thanks," she replied. They drifted into silence. "How are you holding up, Logan?"

"I have to go, Rory," he said. "I have a meeting in ten minutes."

"No, you don't," she said.

"I just have to go," he said. "And Rory, you sound like you're starting to get a cold. Take care of yourself."

He hung up before Rory could answer.

-

Dean tried again a little while later. He knocked on the door and then pushed on it quietly. He found Rory asleep on the bed, assorted knick-knacks and photo albums splayed around her. He sighed and moved them all back into the suitcase before gently easing himself down on the bed next to her.

"What's going on?" she asked groggily.

"Shh," he comforted, putting his arm around her. "It's okay."

"Mmm," she said, settling back down. She yawned and blinked looking around the unfamiliar room and feeling the unfamiliar arms around her.

"Rory, I'm sorry," he said. "I should have been more understanding."

"It's okay," she replied.

"I'm really happy that you're here," he said.

"Yeah," she replied, non-commitally. She yawned again. "I'm really tired so…"

"I'll stay with you for a little while," he offered.

"Sure," she said. She blindly reached out for her cell phone and switched it off. Logan would call, she just knew it, and she didn't think that Dean would be understanding at all.


	3. Telling

**Gilmore Girls**

**These Things I Know**

**A/N:** Lol. Now telling you whether or not it's going to be a Rogan or a Narco (if we're still calling it that) is silly. By the way, how do we get Sophie for Rory/Logan? However, I hate Dean…. And I have been in love with the idea of Rory and Logan from the very beginning. Happy reading! Genevra.

**Summary:** You might finally have what you thought you always wanted but the truth is this- you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls in anyway.

* * *

**Chapter Three:** Telling

* * *

Rory woke up and rolled over. It was dark outside and she felt numb. She stood up and rubbed her eyes before changing into track pants and a tank top and making her way to the kitchen. A plate of food sat in the microwave. Rory smiled and heated it up while she made herself a cup of coffee. She sat down at the small four-seater table and smiled. It reminded her of her childhood.

She quickly ate the meal and drank the coffee. She began to walk back down the hall to Dean's room. She saw a picture of the two of them on the way. One from back when they were sixteen, in love and happy. She was suddenly overwhelmed with an urge of passion. She walked into the room and crawled onto the bed.

"Dean," she whispered, waking him. They looked into each other's eyes and she smiled before kissing him hard.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"Just because," she said, moving in for more.

-

"Rory," Dean said, shaking her gently. She groaned and rolled over, pulling the sheet over her naked body. "Rory, you want some breakfast?"

"What time is it?" she asked.

"It's nearly nine," he said, picking up the nearest shirt and pair of pants and putting them.

"Shoot," she said, jumping out of bed and wrapping the sheet around herself. She walked down the hallway to the spare room where her suitcases still sat. "I'm supposed to meet Mum at nine-thirty at Luke's."

"Why?" he asked. He stayed in the doorway and watched her rummage through the suitcases. "You know, if you unpacked this would he a whole lot easier."

"I know," she said, cutting him off. "I haven't told Mum about you and me yet."

"Oh," he said.

"She's going to be upset," Rory said, looking up at him. "She was never a massive Logan fan but she was always more of a Logan fan than an adulteress fan."

"Hey," he said, going over and touching her arm lightly. "It's going to be okay. Lorelai will still love you."

"That's not what I'm worried about," Rory admitted, leaning into Dean. "It's the fork that you're going to be pulling out of my eye that I'm worried about."

"It'll be fine," he said, kissing the top of her head. He pulled away. "I'll make you a coffee to go."

"Thank you," she called, pulling out a pair of jeans and a peasant top. Chloe, of course.

She grabbed her latest handbag and shoved her feet into a pair of brown suede boots. She leant down to zip them up and when she had risen, Dean stood with the promised cup in his hands.

"Thanks," she said, kissing him. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

They kissed again and she left quickly. She rummaged through her bag to find her cell-phone but it wasn't there so she ran back into the house.

"Back so soon?" Dean called from the kitchen.

"Cell-phone," she yelled. She located it in the mess on the floor and shoved it in her bag. "Bye."

"Bye," he yelled back.

She hopped into Dean's pick-up, her own barely driven car having not been delivered yet, and started it. She held the phone up to her ear as she drove the familiar stretch between Dean's and Luke's. There were a bunch of messages from newspaper associates telling her they hoped the situation at home was okay and that Rory would be back as soon as possible. Rory felt grateful for Logan for taking over. She hadn't thought about those things before she'd left. Finally, she got to the message she was waiting for.

"Ror, it's me. I promoted Anna and she's already made a start on the stories. I think you made a good choice. Thanks. I'm sorry about before. I'm holding up okay. I hope you're doing fine and you're taking care of yourself. I love… I love you, Rory. I shouldn't have said it but I do. Bye."

Tears pricked her eyes and she dialed his mobile number.

"Thank you," she said.

"For what?" he asked.

"Taking care of my disappearance. I didn't even think about it," she said. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," he said.

"Anyway, I just wanted to call and say thanks," she said. "And I love you too."

"I'm sure," he said, his voice blank. "You'd better go back to your lover."

"Yeah," she said. "Sure."

"Bye, Ace."

"Bye, Logan."

She pulled up to the diner and hopped out, pulling her coat on. She picked her handbag up off the passenger seat and made her way into the diner.

"Hey, sweetie," Lorelai said, leaning over to kiss her daughter's cheek.

"Hey, Mum," she said. "Hey, Luke."

Luke raised his hand in greeting before turning back to his order.

"So, Rory, Mr. Valentino called the house again and left yet another message," Lorelai teased. "He wants to know when he's getting his red chinchilla back."

"I don't have the red one, I have the cream one," Rory said, in all seriousness. "And he knows when he's getting back."

"Ok, so I was joking," Lorelai said. "But you're friends with Valentino. That's good. But seriously, kiddo, a chinchilla? Don't you think that's a little 'The Devil Wears Prada?'"

"I guess I never really thought about," Rory shrugged. She looked down in her bag and realized her cell phone was missing. "Mum, I've just got to go get my phone from the car."

"Okay, sweetie, but hurry. I want to know what you can do to get me some Valentino," Lorelai said.

"I bought you a red Valentino dress for your birthday," Rory said, mockingly furrowing her brow and tutting.

"And I love it but Mummy wants more," Lorelai said as Rory left the shop. She watched in shock as Rory went to Dean's car, unlocked it and found her phone. She walked back into the shop.

"Quick enough?" she asked, taking a seat.

"Umm, Rory?" Lorelai started as Luke served them coffee and food. "Is that Dean's car?"

"Yes," Rory said, her voice low. She looked away from her mother and concentrated on a spot on the floor.

"Why are you in Dean's car?" Lorelai asked, her voice measured.

"I left Logan," she said, her voice barely a whisper.

"You what?" Lorelai asked, her face emotionless and her voice quiet.

"Not last night but the night before," Rory admitted, looking down. "For Dean."

"Oh, Rory," Lorelai said, shaking her head. "I can't believe it. I can't believe you. I thought that you would have been over Dean by now. He's not good for you. He never has been. And as for Logan, he's your husband. You've broken the poor guy's heart. He doesn't deserve that."

"I know," Rory said. "And I'm sorry for it but it isn't easy for me either."

"Oh, it doesn't get to be easy for you," Lorelai shot back. "You're the one who chose to do this. You don't get to be upset. It doesn't get to be easy for you."

"I know," Rory shot back, her voice slightly raised. "Okay, Mum, I get it. I'm the bitch. I'm the one who chose to leave but… it just sucks."

"Can I ask why you left?" Lorelai asked.

"I don't love Logan anymore," she mumbled, looking away again. Lorelai inhaled and held her breath.

"You know that's not true," Lorelai said.

"It is," Rory exclaimed. "It's true. I don't love him anymore. I love Dean. I've always loved Dean."

"You haven't loved Dean since you were sixteen," Lorelai said. "When you were together three years ago, it was just for the sex and so he could get out of his marriage. I don't know what it is about him that keeps drawing you back but don't love him. You haven't loved anyone but Logan since you met him."

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Rory seethed quietly.

"Oh, don't I?" Lorelai huffed. "You're my daughter. I know you better than anyone. You haven't even mentioned Dean in years. It's been all Logan, Logan, Logan. Trust me. You're never going to be over him."

"I know I'm not over him," Rory said. "But I'm with Dean now so tell me now whether you can accept it or not because if you can't, I'll walk out and I won't come back."

"You're really serious about this, aren't you?" Lorelai asked, her face falling. She looked like she was going to cry.

"Yeah, I am," Rory said. "So what's it going to be?"

"I'm not thrilled," Lorelai sighed. "In fact, I hate this and I think you're being an idiot but you're my daughter and I love you and I cant live without you."

"Fine," Rory said, picking up her coffee. "That's good. I can live with that."

"Can you?" Lorelai sniffed. "Well, I'm glad. So, why did you leave him?"

"Didn't we decide to drop it?" Rory asked, slamming her cup down.

"Not until you tell me the truth," Lorelai said, her voice unnaturally quiet.

"I don't know why I left him," Rory finally admitted. "It just seemed like the right thing to do."

"How can leaving your husband be the right thing to do?" Lorelai snapped, her eyes automatically resting on her own husband of three years. "If you actually loved Dean, I might be better able to understand but this, I cant. I mean, for starters, you and Dean are so different now. You've lived in a mansion and you own brand name luggage and you get driven around. He's from a very small town and he owns not one item of brand name clothing."

"It's not material," Rory said.

"It will be," Lorelai said. "You're idiot if you think won't be."

"Dean isn't after my money," Rory snapped.

"I know he's not," Lorelai admitted. "But babe, remember why he dumped you in the first place? Because he didn't fit in. You're going to have to change your whole lifestyle and I really don't think you can."

"Can we just drop it please?" Rory asked. "I can't do this anymore."

"Oh, Rory. What have you done?" Lorelai asked. "You didn't think about this at all."

-

"Rory?" Dean called as he entered the house. She exited the kitchen wearing a skirt and heels and he frowned.

"Hey," she said, coming over to kiss him hello. "You're home."

"Yeah, I'm home," he said, looking at her. "Why are you so dressed up?"

"I'm not dressed up," she said. "This is what I always wear."

"Oh," he said quietly. He put his tools in their cabinet in the hallway and walked into the bedroom to get changed. "Whatever happened to trackies and a tank top for around the house?"

"I live in a mansion," she explained, walking in and sitting on the bed. She watched the muscles of his tanned chest ripple as he pulled on an old battered pair of jeans. "My husband-"

"Husband?" Dean interrupted.

"My husband," Rory continued. "Runs five large newspapers and I write for everyone of them under the pseudonym LL Danes. I have very little time to just walk around the house and when I do, this is what I wear."

"You've changed," he said simply.

"Yeah," she replied, chewing her lip. "I have."

"How was your mum?" he asked, changing the subject. He sat down on the bed next to her and she turned to him.

"She was okay," she replied. "Shocked at first and angry but she came around."

"Good. That's good," he said. He leant over and kissed her but she pulled away.

"I just whitened my teeth," she said, standing up. She left the room quickly and he followed her to the kitchen sink. She immersed her hands in the sudsy water and furiously scrubbed at a pot.

"What's wrong?" he asked, putting his arms around her waist and kissing her neck softly.

"Nothing," she said quietly. She turned to him and put her wet hands on his chest. "Try again."

He leant down again and this time, she let him kiss her but he knew. Her heart wasn't all in it.


	4. Ill

**Gilmore Girls**

**These Things I Know**

**A/N:** Lol. Now telling you whether or not it's going to be a Rogan or a Narco (if we're still calling it that) is silly. By the way, how do we get Sophie for Rory/Logan? However, I hate Dean…. And I have been in love with the idea of Rory and Logan from the very beginning. Happy reading! Genevra.

**Marigot Bleu**- Thank you kindly. Wouldn't you know that the one double episode I missed included 'Written in the Stars,' that's why I wondered. I'm an Aussie so we're only up to 'You Jump, I Jump, Jack' but my friends has the DVD's so I'm going to catch up. And yes, Gilmore fans are very clever J

**Summary:** You might finally have what you thought you always wanted but the truth is this- you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls in anyway.

* * *

**Chapter Four:** Ill

* * *

Rory wiped the sweat off her face and paused for a second. She rested her body against the sink until she heard Dean's car pull into the driveway. She stood up straighter but didn't move until she heard the front door open.

"I'm home," he yelled down the hallway. She heard a rustling of plastic bags that got louder as he approached.

"Hey," she said, giving him a kiss and pasting on a smile when he walked into the kitchen.

"I bought dinner," he explained, setting the bags down on the ground. He looked at the table, which was already set and grimaced. "Don't tell me you…"

"I already cooked," she sighed, waving around at the pot of risotto that was simmering on the stove.

"Rory, you don't cook," Dean exclaimed. "Do you even remember the last time you were in the kitchen for something other than giving the cook instructions or pinching a pint of ice-cream and a tea-spoon?"

"It's not pinching if you paid for it," she muttered.

"You know what I mean," he sighed.

"I just, you know, wanted to try," she said, wiping her forehead again. She fanned herself unsuccessfully with the tea towel. "I don't feel so good. I think I might go lie down."

"Rory," Dean called as she walked heavily down the hall.

"It's fine," she said. "I'm just a little tired. Eat something."

She walked into the bedroom and changed into her pyjamas before slumping onto the bed. She focused on the whirring of the ceiling fan as her vision went blurry. She looked at the end of bed and watched as a blurry figure clad in black took off his leather jacket and walked to the other side of the bed and removing his clothes bar his boxers and hopping into bed next to her.

Her eyes closed and then opened. She shivered in the darkness that had overtaken the room and pulled the blankets around her, tighter and tighter. She rolled over, kicked the blankets away then bought them back and re-tangled them.

She looked at the end of bed and watched as a blurry figure clad in black took off his leather jacket and walked to the other side of the bed and removing his clothes bar his boxers and hopping into bed next to her.

"Logan?" she asked.

"Shh," he whispered, putting a finger to her lips. He reached out to her and she rolled away to the other side of the bed. He looked hurt but she was determined. He would hate her and it would be easier not to love him when he didn't love her.

Logan was not deterred. He reached out for her again and she let him. He began to stroke her hair and whisper into it. The background changed suddenly from darkness to purple. Dean appeared before her, wielding a knife. She tried to scream to warn Logan but her throat was dry and nothing came out.

Dean smirked menacingly and held the knife to her throat.

"If I can't have her, Huntzberger," he snarled, pressing the sharp metal blade into her pale flesh. "No one can. You should have stayed with me, Rory."

Logan wrenched Rory away and covered her with his body. She screamed when she felt the wet stickiness falling from where Dean had knicked her. She began to feel faint when she heard the sickening tear of flesh as Dean plunged the knife into Logan.

"No," she wailed, throwing herself at his body. Dean laughed mirthlessly and the room changed to orange. Dean changed to Lorelai and Logan to Emily.

"We told you to stay with Logan," Emily smirked, her tone holier-than-thou and knowing.

"Yeah, babe. He loved you," her mother agreed, softer. She smiled. "And now he's dead."

The women both threw their heads back and began to laugh. Their noses turned to beaks, their arms to wings and their legs to talons and suddenly, two ravens began to fly across the room. They circled the room, which was now full of a murky, foggy green, before coming to rest on the bed-head. Rory stared at them petrified. Her breathing was heavy and she felt like crying. Although his body was gone, she could still feel Logan's blood on her, seeping through her clothes.

The ravens both seemed to look Rory in the eye before resuming their harrowing cackle. She woke with a start and sat up in bed, looking around her. She was dizzy and she was hot. She reached down, still feeling the blood and realized it wasn't blood at all but sweat, which poured off every inch of her body. The bed was damp and ever inch of her body glistened with the droplets.

She wiped her brow with her tank top and coughed, her throat feeling like it had been ripped open with every movement. Her head pounded and her stomach swirled. She considered moving to the bathroom but she couldn't make herself move. Rory coughed again and began to panic. She tried to calm herself by gulping great big breaths, deep lungfuls of air. Her eyes were wild and roaming.

She had felt like this once before and Logan, well Logan had come to the rescue but he wasn't here now and albeit sleeping, Dean was. She was left with two choices. She could take care of herself or she could wake Dean. She made the decision quickly and leant over to Dean, who had come to bed at some point in the night, and shook him lightly.

"What's going on?" he asked, looking at her blearily. She gazed back at him all flushed and glassy-eyed. He reached out to her, his head not moving from the pillow. "Are you okay?"

"I feel sick," she said simply. Dean placed his hand on her forehead.

"You're boiling," he remarked. "Let me get you an aspirin or some water."

"No, it's fine," she said, pulling herself out of bed. "I'll go myself."

"Rory, I insist," he said, not making a move.

"Dean, don't worry about it," she sighed, placing her hands on her temples and massaging. "I'll go myself and I'll sleep in the spare room. It'll be cooler and I won't disturb you."

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, feigning a smile. "I'm sure."

-

_"Rory, wake up," Logan said, shaking her. Her eyes opened with a jolt. She was boiling. Logan helped her sit up and he handed her a glass of water whish she began to sip gratefully. He ran a cool hand over her face and peered at her in concern. "You alright there, Ace?"_

_She stared at him before beginning to cry in great, big, gasping sobs._

"_Hey, hey," he comforted her. He pulled her close and held her, his hands playing with her hair._

"_I just feel like crap," she cried. "My head hurts and my throat hurts and I'm so hot."_

_She started pushing her pillows and blankets away and pulling at her clothes._

"_Shh," Logan whispered, pushing her gently so she was lying down. He leant down and rolled the legs of track pants and the midriff of her tank-top up before pushing the quilt down to the bottom of the bed. It was a New Haven winter and despite their central heating, the room was cool. Clothed only in boxers and a t-shirt, Logan walked over to the thermostat and turned it down. Immediately, they were hit with a cool wave. Before coming back to bed, Logan went into the bathroom to refill the glass and find some aspirin. On second thought, he grabbed a face washer and put it under the faucet._

_He placed the water glass and the aspirin on her bedside table and then crawled into bed. Rory dutifully took the aspirin and drank some water before lying back down and staring blankly at the wall. Logan leant over her and began to gently wipe the washer over her._

"_Aren't you cold?" she asked, rolling over. She shivered slightly as his hands, and the washer, touched her stomach._

"_I'm fine," he answered. She blinked and raised her hands, placing them on the side of his face._

"_Do you want me to sleep in another room?" she asked, moving her hands away._

"_No," he said, quietly emphatic. "I'm fine, Ace."_

"_You're shivering," she noticed, concern etched into her face._

"_Rory," he sighed, using her real name and stopping the argument once and for all. "You try to sleep, okay?"_

"_Okay," she agreed. She let him lean over and kiss her forehead. Her eyes began to close as she drifted to sleep. "I love you, Logan."_

"_I love you too, Ace," he whispered tenderly. She fell asleep and Logan lay there, wiping her exposed skin with the washer. She woke up in the morning and shivered in the cold air. She turned to Logan and brushed her fingers against his arms slightly._

"_What's wrong?" he asked, waking with a start. He sat up, looking frazzled, and Rory knew he had barely slept. "Are you okay?"_

"_You didn't sleep at all, did you?" she asked, shaking her head softly._

"_Not much," he admitted with a nonchalant shrug. "Are you feeling okay?"_

"_A bit better," she answered. "I still feel like crap but I think the worst is over."_

"_Good," he smiled. He yawned and looked over at the clock. "I should get ready for work."_

"_No," she said, her voice weak but forceful. "You're not going anywhere."_

"_But the paper…" he started._

"_Can run by itself," she said, wearily. "It has before and it will again. Besides, I'm sick and I want my husband."_

"_Ror," he said, tilting his head, unconvinced. She pouted and he sighed. "Fine. I'll just go in for an hour."_

_Rory sighed and rolled over. She stared blankly at the wall as he showered and dressed. He came over and knelt down next to the bed to kiss her goodbye. She turned away as tears unexpectedly leapt to her eyes._

"_Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting on the bed next to her. He gently turned her head back and wiping a tear that had escaped away._

"_Do you really have to go?" she asked, her voice pitiful. She wiped another tear away and as something stirred in his stomach, Logan felt awful._

"_No," he answered as she rested her head on his lap. His fingers played with her hair and her hands rested on his chest. He leant down and pressed his lips into her hair. "I'm not going anywhere."_

"_I'm sorry," she cried. "I just feel like crap."_

"_It's okay," he comforted._

"_I'm sorry for crying," she said, sobbing harder._

"You never have to apologise for that," he said, smoothing her hair. His voice was soft but his eyes were resolute. "Ever."

-

Rory rummaged around the bathroom for the aspirin. She found them and forced them down her throat as she drank the rest of the water. She made her way into the spare room and changed into a pair of old shorts before lying down on the cool quilt and letting the air from the fan wash over her. her head was swimming and she was nauseous but at least she was cooler.

She looked at the clock. It was only 9 o'clock. Instinctively, she grabbed her phone and dialed her home number.

"Hello, Huntzberger residence," Marisa answered.

"Marisa, it's me," she whispered. "Rory."

"Ah, Mrs. Huntzberger. I'll just put you through to Mr. Huntzberger."

"Thank you, Marisa," Rory sighed. She waited a moment before she heard the click symbolizing the call had been put through.

"Hello," Logan said into the phone. Rory froze, said nothing, but she began to silently cry. She heard Logan's frustrated sigh. "Hello?"

"I'm so sorry," Rory cried. "I shouldn't have rung."

"Rory, what's going on?" he asked, frustrated.

"I feel like crap," she sobbed. "Worse than before."

"Well, there's nothing I can do about it," he retorted. "You made damn sure of that. Cant you just get lover boy to make it better?"

"There's nothing he can do," she admitted. "He didn't even get out of bed. He's still asleep. He's no you."

She sounded so lost and broken that Logan couldn't help but feel for her.

"Look, have some OJ, some aspirin, put a cold wet washer on your face and try to sleep," he sighed, as comfortingly as he could.

"I will," she sniffed. "Thank you."

She hung up and did exactly what he ordered, except for taking the aspirin. She had a feeling that even though he hated her, he didn't want her overdosing and dead. Before she went to sleep, she rang her florist and left a message on her phone. She ordered a bunch of pink Oriental lilies, a Logan and Rory tradition, to be delivered to his office in the morning with a simple white card reading 'Thank you' on one side and 'I'm sorry on the other,' before falling into a deep sleep.

She woke briefly when Dean came into check on her later that night and again when he left in the morning leaving her with a bottle of OJ, some more aspiring, a magazine and a peck on the cheek. She slept again and when she awoke, for real, she spotted a magnificent array of pink and white Oriental lilies at her bedside. She searched for the card and found it.

'Feel better,' it said on one side and on the other, 'You're welcome and you're forgiven but enough.'

She closed her eyes and clutched her stomach, tears running down her face at frequent intervals. She wasn't supposed to feel like this. She was supposed to feel glad he was letting her go, happy.

She heard the front door open and she quickly hid the card. Dean came into the bedroom.

"Hey," he said. She smiled wordlessly and let him kiss her. "Better?"

"A little," she replied.

"Who are the flowers from?" he asked with a smile.

"A friend," she answered. She inhaled and exhaled. "You want me to make you something for dinner?"


	5. Options

**Gilmore Girls**

**These Things I Know**

**A/N:** Boy, am I on a roll or what? I'll just have you know that I have a million different story ideas and one-shot ideas that have probably already been done or will be by the time I finish this but I'm giving them up to work on this. Happy reading! Genevra.

**Summary:** You might finally have what you thought you always wanted but the truth is this- you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls in anyway.

* * *

**Chapter Five:** Options

* * *

The bells woke him from his deep sleep. He blinked and looked around the room trying to figure out where he was. The bells tolled again and he remembered. Venice. Colin was here somewhere too, having decided that the only way to drag Logan out of his stupor was to take him out of the country and away from all distractions and memories. Of course, the fact that Colin's wife had a desperate need to shop in Europe and Colin needed some male company had nothing to do with it.

Logan sighed and pulled the pillow he was hugging closer to his body. He leant down and sniffed it, breathing in Rory's familiar and comforting smell. He was pathetic. Rory Gilmore had made him pathetic and he was sick of it. If only she knew that he slept with an old pillowcase of hers and that he'd bought it to Europe with him. If only she knew that he still wore her bathrobe around that he'd left at home with Finn who was house-sitting or that he had kept a bottle of her perfume to spray to smell and with the smell recapture the love, the spirit that they once had.

He got up and walked around the room, pacing to gather his thoughts. He poured himself a scotch and grimaced as the burning liquid raced down his throat. He took another sip and he grimaced again, though not as much. Taking a seat, he sighed and picked up the phone to call his father and tell him what was going on.

Enough was enough. Logan was sick of this. Was sick of Rory leaving him and then calling him whenever she needed something. Was sick of Rory leaving him and not doing anything about it. Was sick of hurting over it. Was sick of Rory full stop.

He needed something to happen. He needed something to change and his heart told him that the only way was to push things along. He hated the fact that he had to call his father and he hated the fact that he had to be the initiator. It should have been her since she was the one who had left him.

A lump appeared in Logan's throat as the number dialed and his father picked up. Before he could stop it, he began to cry.

"Dad," he whispered.

"Logan?" his father replied.

"I miss her, Dad. I miss her so much."

-

The phone rang repeatedly and the non-stop drone of the vibration against the bedside table was becoming annoying. Grunting, a still ill Rory pushed her hair out of her eyes and reached for the phone. She groaned when she saw the name on the screen and she quickly took a sip of water to calm her dry throat before answering.

"Mitchum, what is it?" she asked, her tone exhausted and fed-up.

"I was just calling to find out when you were going to call in your pre-nup," he asked. "I was just looking over it and it never stated that you had to wait until divorce proceedings were finalized and though that does make sense, if you want to take it before then, I'll need to make arrangements. You have filed, haven't you?"

"What?" Rory asked, pulling herself out of bed. She shook her head to clear it and paced around the room. "No, I haven't."

"Having second thoughts?" he asked, chuckling slightly. "If so, I need to know that too because I'm paying my lawyers a fortune."

"I'm not having second thoughts," Rory snapped. She spotted a post-it stuck to the bedroom and door and read it. Dean had already left for work. He was never around. She crumpled the note, threw it on the ground and placed her free hand to her temple. "I just hadn't thought about divorce yet."

"Well, I suggest you do," Mitchum said.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you, Mitchum? You never wanted me and Logan to get married in the first place," Rory said.

"Rubbish. I always wanted you and Logan to get married," Mitchum shot-back.

"No, you didn't. You have never thought that I'm good enough and you hate the fact that I have a career and that I'm not just a trophy wife who spends my hours picking out drapes," she spat. "You never thought that this marriage would work and you never wanted it too."

"If I thought that, then why did I give you one of my newspapers?" Mitchum asked. He let Rory flounder in the silence before speaking. "You know I think you're very talented and you know I would never hand over one of my papers to anyone even if they were a Huntzberger-"

"By marriage only," Rory spat.

"But still, a Huntzberger," Mitchum continued. "But Rory, if I had ever thought that yours and Logan's marriage would end, I wouldn't have arranged for you to take over NYT."

"But you only acquired it because of me," Rory said. "Because Logan knew it was my dream to work there and I couldn't if I was married to him."

"Best decision he ever made," Mitchum said. "NYT has made us a fortune and yet even though your dream had been realized, you still chose not to work there."

"I couldn't leave Logan," Rory whispered.

"Exactly," Mitchum said. "You couldn't then and you can't now even if it means not being just the editor in-chief at NYT but actually running the newspaper."

"I don't want your newspaper, Mitchum," Rory said, the bile rising in your throat.

"You don't get a choice," he shot-back. "I can't change the pre-nup. It's ironclad. You could leave everything the way it is but of course, if you want it to become even better, you'd have to leave your carpenter- yes, Logan's told me everything- and go to New York. Live your dream, Rory, since you've broken my son's heart. One of you should be happy."

"I don't care what you think about my decision but just as I wouldn't leave Logan then, I wont leave Dean now. NYT will stay as it is."

"Then you're making a big mistake," Mitchum said, his voice soft but threatening. "You can't run away from this, Gilmore."

"It's Huntzberger," she said, defiantly.

"It won't be soon enough," Mitchum replied. "If you don't file for divorce, we will."

"You wouldn't," Rory said.

"We would," he replied. "And this company will go back to they way it's always been. Without NYT."

"This is about business?" Rory gasped. "I cannot believe this."

"It's never not about business," Mitchum said. "Anything you want to can be business and this time, the business is that my son's heart is broken and divorce will be a way to help him get over it."

"Ending our marriage will be a way to get over it?" Rory asked. "Tell me how that works."

"Closure, Rory," Mitchum replied. He paused. "But one thing is for sure. I don't like my son calling me in tears and telling me how much he missed you. I want you out of his life. I expect to hear from you or your lawyer by the end of the week."

He hung up leaving Rory gasping and reeling, like a stranded fish. She screamed angrily and threw the phone across the wall. It careened across the room and she watched as it fell apart and the pieces slid down to the ground. It only made her angrier. She grabbed random objects, hairbrushes, perfume bottles, a photo frame, and threw them, her angry cries getting louder and more furious every time. Never before had she been so glad that Dean lived so far out of town and no one could hear her.

She found one last object, the box of flowers that Logan had sent her and she sent it flying across the room. She gasped and covered her mouth as the blooms flew all over the ground and water spilt, soaking quickly into the carpet. She sunk to her hands and knees and crawled over to it, picking up each of the flowers one by one and placing them back in the box. She crawled back to the other side of the room and rummaged through her top drawer and pulled out the card that had accompanied the flowers. She began to sob as she read it, the words sinking deeper and deeper in as she read it again and again. He was over her already. He had barely given her a chance and he wanted to end it.

She clutched her stomach and out of the corner of her eye she spotted a picture of the two that she had carelessly thrown into the drawer. They were standing in a corner, holding each other, oblivious to their surroundings and the people around them. Rory was smiling and looking at the ground and Logan's mouth was open as if he was saying something romantic.

Rory couldn't remember the exact moment or event the picture had been taken at but she knew her mother had given it to her. She was struck briefly with grief before anger and fury took over again. She pushed herself off the floor and shoved the drawer shut with her hip, causing all the remaining items on the table to rock and fall. She stormed into the bathroom and changed out of her pyjamas into jeans and a t-shirt. She didn't bother showering or brushing her hair and teeth. Her face make-upless and clean. She stormed to the car and turned it on. She drove the familiar streets towards hers and Logan's New Haven mansion in silent rage.

She slammed on the brakes and parked in front of the door. She stormed up the stairs and knocked on the door impatiently. Within seconds, a blonde maid answered the door.

"Good morning, ma'am," she said.

"Morning," Rory said, shooting past her. She stomped up the stairs and ran straight to her and Logan's bedroom. She opened the door and stepped in. He was still in bed and she shuddered. "What the hell were you thinking, Logan? Telling your father? You hate your father. And besides, you can't do this. You don't get to decide these sort of things. And what do you mean enough is enough? What if I'm not ready for it to be enough yet? And did you ever even consider why I hadn't filed for divorce yet? Huh? Did you? Logan, answer me."

"That might be a little hard, love," Finn said, rolling over and glaring at her. "Considering I'm not Logan."

"Where the hell is my husband?" Rory yelled. "And what the hell are you doing in my bed?"

"Maybe if you'd talked to Logan, whom by the way is hardly your husband anymore, then maybe you'd know," Finn snarled, getting angrier by the second. "Who the hell are you to walk in here and ask Logan those sorts of questions?"

"Who the hell are you to lie in my bed and judge me?" Rory shot back as a cute red-head entered the bedroom carrying two cups of coffee and wearing Rory's bathrobe.

"You didn't tell me there was going to be company," the redhead smiled, handing Finn one of the coffees and kissing him on the lips.

"Oh, she's not staying, love. Are you, Ace?" Finn replied, not taking his eyes off Rory. Her nickname slid out of his lips with a bitter hiss.

"You're wearing my bathrobe," Rory spat, glaring at the girl.

"You said you weren't married," the redhead said, moving away from Finn. "Despicable."

"He's not married," Rory sighed. "But this is my house and that's my bed and my bathrobe and if you don't mind, I'd like it back."

"I thought you said the owner of this house was in Europe," she repeated.

"He is," Finn answered. "This is his soon to be ex-wife."

"Rory Huntzberger," Rory introduced herself before turning back to Finn. "What do you mean in Europe? What do you mean soon to be ex-wife?"

"Logan is in Europe with Colin and Stephanie getting over you," Finn explained. "And I am staying here until he gets back."

"This is my house too," Rory said. "And I never said you could."

"That was a lame comeback, Rory," Finn replied, rolling his eyes.

"I'm sorry it wasn't up to my usual standards but what do you expect?" she spat.

"I'm sorry too, love," Finn replied. "But I expected more from you."

"Finn, why does it hurt so much?" Rory asked, suddenly changing tack.

"Why does what hurt so much?" he asked.

"This," she said, clutching her stomach. She motioned around the room. "Being here."

"Because maybe you're not really over Logan," he said. "He's not over you, heaven knows why."

"Finn," she pleaded. "Don't."

"I'm sorry, love, but what do _you_ expect? You left him for another man. You broke his heart," Finn replied.

"Yes, but you're supposed to be my friend too. Did anyone ever stop to ask why? Did anyone ever stop to think my heart would be broken too?" Rory asked, tearily. She sunk to the floor, her back resting against the bed. Finn moved so his head at the other end of the bed, next to Rory's.

"You know what I'm going to say to that," he said. "You're a smart one. You know why."

"I know," she replied, pushing her palms against her eyes to stop another flow of tears. She sighed before flopping down miserably. "Finn, will you tell him to call me when he gets back?"

"No," Finn said. "I won't."

She nodded and accepted it before standing up and walking dejectedly towards the door.

"I will however call you when he gets back," Finn said, giving in. "As long as you promise me one thing."

"Anything," Rory whispered, looking back.

"That you'll leave him alone," Finn said.

"But…"

"Take it or leave it, Rory," Finn said, all seriousness. "You won't call him. You won't come over her. You won't have anything to do with him until you're ready to come back to him or to divorce him."

"Fine," she said. "I will."

She left the room and walked down the hallways and out of the house. She got into the car and drove off, leaving a cloud of smoke behind her.

But he missed her. Logan missed her. Mitchum had said that and in a way, she missed him too.

Leave him. Or come back. Have a life with him or a life without him.

Neither was an option.


	6. Stupid

**Gilmore Girls**

**These Things I Know**

**A/N:** So, now the story is moving along but I'm afraid it's becoming all a little too convenient. No, Rory isn't pregnant. I did consider it but I'm just not up for that kind of melodrama or predictability... Honestly, I think this might be heading into melodrama as it is but oh, how I love it! Happy reading! Genevra.

**Summary:** You might finally have what you thought you always wanted but the truth is this- you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls in anyway.

* * *

**Chapter Six:** Stupid

* * *

The time dragged on, slowly first. Two days went by and became three, three days became a week then two. Mitchum's lawyer never contacted her and she was spared having to make the most horrible decision of her life. She supposed, all in all, she had Finn to thank for that.

Life went on and life moved on. The week turned into more weeks and the weeks into a month. Rory attempted to heal, attempted to push Logan out of her mind and slowly, very slowly, she succeeded. The day came when she reached out her hand, conscious of the fact it was going to be Dean's shaggy hair she was touching and not Logan's shorter spikes. They day came when she stopped hoping it would be Logan everytime the phone rang. The day came when she stopped seeing Logan and imagining it was Logan everytime she and Dean made love… Well, most of the time anyway. There were still flashes of thoughts and memories but she put them aside as quickly as possible. The morning did come, however, when she happily leant over and woke Dean with a kiss, a full hour before his alarm.

"Morning," she whispered, smiling.

"Morning," Dean replied sleepily. He kissed her again. "What time is it?"

"Early enough," she replied huskily. She placed her head on his bare chest.

"I see," he murmured back, raising an eyebrow. "Early enough for what?"

"I think you know," she replied, her hands trailing down his chest.

"Oh, do I?" he asked.

"Oh, you do," she answered.

"I think I do too," he replied, a smile spreading across his face. "In fact, I know I do."

The time passed quickly and as Dean went to shower, Rory felt something other than dirty. She felt strong, empowered, mad and lucid. Her Logan hadn't fought for her. He had never fought for her but Dean. Dean had fought for her from the beginning. Since the day she got married to the day she had left Logan, he had fought for her. And now, here she was, where was supposed to be and for awhile, it was good."

-

Pain ate at him from every side and every angle. Questions that would never be answered plagued him and assaulted him. Another tear, certainly not the first or last of many, dripped down his face and furiously, he wiped it away. How many times had he cried? How many times had he wept? And then, how many times had she cried? How many times had she wept? She probably hadn't even thought about him since he'd sent her the flowers. She really had moved in.

Overwhelmed with feelings of despair, Logan found himself gasping for breath. She couldn't really be over him, she couldn't have moved on. It wasn't possible.

The phone was in his hand before he could even stop it. These long-distance calls were going to be the death of him and his fortune but none of it seemed relevant when faced with his dilemna.

-

"Rory?" the voice croaked across the phone.

"Logan?" she asked, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. The body in bed next to her groaned and rolled over as Rory switched on the bedside lamp. "Logan, hang up. This is getting pathetic. And it's past two am in the morning."

"Rory, come home," he pleaded, his voice cracking. "I need you. I'm dying without you."

"Logan," she sighed, sick and tired of listening to him plead for her. "I can't take this anymore. I'm not coming home and no amount of calling me is going to change that."

"But you don't understand," he whimpered, beginning to choke out sobs. "I love you. I'm going crazy without you."

"Logan," she pleaded, tears springing to her own eyes. As much as she hated him right now, she hated hearing him cry. It tore her apart. Part of her wanted to yell at him and tell him to grow up, to stop being a baby but the rational, saner part of her understood exactly why he was acting this way. She had had her heartbroken too. She sighed again. "Logan, go get some sleep. I'll call you in the morning. Where are you?"

"I'm still in Europe," he admitted. "And you can't call me. Carpenter cant afford it even if you can."

"Logan," she said, her voice like a shot. "I have to go."

"Rory, don't go," he tried one last time. She inhaled and he knew he was close to breaking her. She exhaled and paused for a second.

"Good night, Logan," she said, hanging up the phone. She wiped the tears from her eyes quickly and discreetly before lying down. It wasn't long before she felt the body roll over and hands place themselves on her silky nightgown.

"Everything okay?" Dean asked.

"Yeah," Rory said, rolling over to look at him. She pasted on a brave face. "Logan just cant… get it into his head that we're over."

"Are you sure you're over it?" Dean asked, scrutinizing her face. She looked away and then she looked back.

"Of course I'm over it," she whispered. "It's just that we we're married, Dean. You know what it's like to go through a divorce, it's awful. I loved him, you know. We had a life. I swore to love him and only him 'til death do us part."

"That's where you went wrong," Dean said, turning away from her. "You should have married me."

"Well, I would have but you know, you married Lindsay," Rory said. "Slight problem there."

"You didn't have to marry Huntzberger and become part of his precocious family," Dean spat.

"Well, I did," Rory shot back. "And I was happy okay and now I'm not so drop it. you won, Dean. You got me. What more do you want?"

"Rory, what's going on here?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said, rolling over. "Let's get some sleep."

More time passed and things became normal again but as the days went on, Rory felt something stir in her spirit. Something wasn't right. Something was oh-so wrong and she had a feeling she knew exactly what is was.

-

"Rory? I'm home," Dean yelled, letting himself in.

"In the lounge room," she called from where she sat, fire blazing, blanket over her knees and book in her hands. Her eyes hadn't touched the novel, her thoughts were far, far away.

"Hey," Dean said, leaning over and kissing her.

"Hey yourself," Rory murmured. "How was your day?"

"Long," he said, sinking down onto the lounge. "Exhausting. Yours."

"Enlightening," she said, bravely. She stood up. "Can I get you something to eat?"

"You can't cook," Dean replied, matter of factly.

"I know," she snapped. "You keep bringing that up but I'm trying and how am I supposed to learn if you never ever let me?"

"I ran into your friend Finn today," Dean said suddenly. Rory's face paled and her body slacked. Her arms crashed to her side and she swallowed, hard.

"And?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"He said he meant to call you about a week ago but he wasn't sure you could keep your promise," Dean answered, curiously. "What did he mean?"

Rory knew that it was crunch time. Logan was back from Europe and decision time was now. She could chose to obey Finn's wishes and keep her promise or she could spill and tell Dean everything which she would inevitably do anyway but she knew, it was better to keep Dean out of this, better for him not to know.

"Rory?" Dean asked, prompting her out of her head. "You want to tell me what this is all about?"

She swallowed and frowned, biting her lip nervously. Dean looked at her like a little puppy dog and she felt her resolve melt.

"Nothing," Rory sighed, looking away sadly. She quickly pasted on a smile. "You know what Finn's like."

'No, I don't know what Finn's like," Dean said.

"Well," was all she could bring herself to say. How much more of this could she take? How much more could she handle? Damn, she wanted to see Logan, wanted to hold him. She and Dean had been getting along fine and she had been beginning to remember why she was with him in the first place but know she felt so stupid. Logan was the only one who could make this okay, was the only one she wanted to be with.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked.

"Hmm?" Rory replied, vaguely. She looked at Dean, not really seeing him and sighed. "I'm fine but there's something we need to talk about."

"What?" he asked. "Can it wait until after dinner because I'm starving?"

"What do you mean can it…" Rory started, her voice raised. She trailed off and frowned. "Sure. Of course it can wait. When it comes to me, we can wait for anything."

"You saw Logan, didn't you?" Dean asked.

"I cannot believe you would even think that," Rory spat, her eyes flashing.

"Well, right now, I don't know what to think. Finn made you promise to stay away, didn't he? When you went to your house about six weeks ago, it wasn't Logan you saw, it was Finn."

"You were spying on me?" Rory asked, looking like the wind had been knocked out of her.

"I followed you," he replied, with steely resolve.

"Why in Heavens name would you do that?" she asked. "Do you trust me that little?"

"Should I?" he asked. "I just wanted to know what you did all day, stuck in this little house."

"Nothing!" she screamed. "I am so bored. Dean, I clean the house and I see my mum and I read and there is nothing else I can do because when I left Logan, I left my whole entire life and I lost everything."

"What about what you gained?" Dean asked.

"What I gained?" she gasped, stepping backwards. "What I gained? I got you and I got a house that's smaller than my bedroom. I have my husband's best friends telling me to stay away and my father in-law pressuring me to do something I cant do."

"What cant you do, Rory?" Dean asked, his face blazing. "What cant you do?"

"Oh, I have been so stupid," she said, ignoring him. She sank onto the couch and lowered her head into her hands. "What have I done?"

"Rory," Dean repeated, his voice low and threatening. "What cant you do?"

"Divorce him," she whispered, not looking up. "I cant divorce him. and why would I want too? You're cheating on me. I should have known you would. You cheated on Lindsay and now, you're cheating on me. I have been so stupid."

Dean watched her stand up and walk into the kitchen. She began to cry heart-wrenching sobs as she banged pots and pans around. He walked into the kitchen as she stuck some leftovers into the microwave.

"What do you mean I'm cheating on you?" he asked.

"You know exactly what I mean," she said, wiping her eyes and fiddling with the knobs on the microwave. "The blonde. I saw you with her. Once or twice a week. It was Lindsay, wasn't it?"

"What do you want to do now?" he asked, refusing to answer her.

"I don't know," she answered.

"Huh," Dean said, impassively. His face was pinched and full of anger. He grabbed a plate off the table and threw it at the fridge, narrowly missing Rory's head. She screamed and jumped forward as shards flew across the room and landed on the floor. She covered her head and sunk to the floor as another plate followed. "Damnit, Rory!"

"I'm sorry," she cried, not once knowing why she was apologizing. He sank to the floor and began to crawl towards her. She screamed and jumped up. "Don't you touch me! Stay away from me!"

"But Rory, I love you," he pleaded. "I'm sorry. I am. Don't leave here like I know you're going too."

"My bags are already packed," she admitted. She was pale and drawn. "That's the first time you've said that in two years. And now I can see you don't mean t. you never loved me. This was all about someone else having me and you couldn't handle it."

"No, Rory. It wasn't. I've always loved you," he said standing up.

"Is that why you cheated on me?" she hissed. He grabbed her hand and she wrenched her whole body away. "Don't touch me. You make me sick."

She walked to the bedroom and pulled her coat off the bed, putting it on. She rummaged around the pockets for the keys.

"Where will you go?" Dean asked, watching her from the doorway.

"I don't know," she said, her eyes red and stinging. "Away from you."

"You don't have to go," Dean suggested. "I kind of like having a girl around."

"Maybe you should find someone who isn't already married and isn't already in love with someone else. She'll have to be smart because I wasn't. I was stupid to think you ever loved me. I was stupid to think you could give me anything that Logan couldn't. I was stupid to think you wouldn't cheat on me too. I see that now. You never cared about me just as long as there was someone to keep the house clean and your bed warm, you didn't care who it was."

"Are you going to go back to your husband?" Dean asked, snickering.

"You know he won't have me," she said, fumbling with her key-ring as she stormed outside. She pulled two keys off and threw them at him. "But I know that's my fault."

"Now you know how it feels," Dean said. "To be cheated on and to be left."

"I want to blame you for this," she said, crying. "And I already hate you but I cant. This was all my fault and all my stupidity. I have no-one to blame but myself. I made my bed and now I have to sleep in it."

"You could stay," Dean offered. "At least Lindsay can cook now and you can have some company. You wont be so bored."

"Screw you," Rory said, getting into the car and turning it on. "I regret ever having loved you and I will never love you again."

"Shame," Dean yelled over the roaring car as she pulled away. "You were always my favourite girl."


	7. Floored

**Gilmore Girls**

**These Things I Know**

**A/N:** Boy, am I on a roll or what? I'll just have you know that I have a million different story ideas and one-shot ideas that have probably already been done or will be by the time I finish this but I'm giving them up to work on this. Happy reading! Genevra.

**Summary:** You might finally have what you thought you always wanted but the truth is this- you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls in anyway.

* * *

**Chapter Seven:** Floored

* * *

Rory drive the streets, blindly. She felt a sudden stab in her stomach and a sick feeling settled over her. Logan's face flashed across her mind and she froze. She pulled over quickly and pulled out her mobile, dialing Finn.

"Finn," she whimpered.

"What do you want, love?" he answered, angrily. She knew she was the only person he called love and that he was saying it to warn the people around him who he was talking too.

"Is he okay?" she asked, in an urgent whisper. She found she couldn't raise her voice any higher. "Logan… Is he okay?"

"I know who you're talking about, love, and no, he isn't," Finn replied.

"What's wrong?" Rory asked, able to raise her voice now. "Where is he? Is he going to be okay?"

"He's going to be fine," Finn replied, sighing. He could hear how worried Rory was and although he was angry with him, she was still his wife and she obviously loved him enough to sense something was wrong.

"What happened?" Rory asked, tears stinging her eyes.

"There was an accident. A small one. He was driving and a deer ran in front of him and he ran off the road into a dish. We're at Hartford Memorial," Finn explained.

"But he's going to be…"

"He's going to be fine, Rory," Finn said, quickly. "We'll talk later."

He hung up suddenly, in true Finn fashion, and Rory again felt sick. She turned the car back on and began to drive again in the direction she had been going. She pulled up to her mother's house and barged through the front door, knowing it would be open and immediately ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

"Lorelai!" Luke called. "What's going on?"

"I don't know," Lorelai yelled from the bedroom. "You're the big brave man. You check it out."

"I'm not that brave, Lorelai," Luke sighed, coming out of the kitchen to meet Lorelai in the living room. He was still wielding the spatula he had been cooking with and Lorelai rolled her eyes.

"A spatula, Luke," Lorelai commented wryly. "Really. How dangerous."

"Lorelai," he warned as they stepped closer to the bathroom.

"No, seriously. I'm shaking in my stylish yet affordable boots," she continued. The stood closer and listened to the movement in the bathroom. Luke turned away as he heard the intruder retching and expelling the contents of their stomach.

"What?" he asked, turning to Lorelai who had a smirk on her face.

"You're actually turning green," she commented with a laugh. She knocked on the door and leaned in closer to yell. "Rory, come out and see Luke. He's actually going green."

"Go away!" Rory yelled, throwing up again.

"That's Rory in there?" Luke asked. "How did you know?"

"Do you not remember the Founders Day punch incident of '05?" she asked. "I only have one kid, Luke, and believe me, the amount of time I spent up with her, I know."

"That's just sick," Luke said, but the concern was etched over his face. "Is she okay?"

"I don't know," Lorelai admitted. "But you know what would help? Oatmeal."

"Oatmeal?" Luke asked. "As in, good for you oatmeal?"

"The one and only," Lorelai answered. "Don't look so surprised. I ate all my vegetables tonight."

"They were covered in ketchup," Luke answered, dirtily.

"Whatever. But you see, when I was pregnant, oatmeal was the only thing that would settle my stomach," Lorelai explained.

"You think she's pregnant?" Luke asked.

"No," Lorelai replied. She looked at Luke and furrowed her brow. "I don't think so. I mean, I hope not."

"Oatmeal it is," Luke said, kissing Lorelai on the forehead. "Good luck."

"Thanks," she answered, turning the knob and pushing the door open. "Babe, I'm coming in."

"No, Mum. Don't," Rory pleaded. "I don't want you to see me like this."

"Believe me, babes, it wouldn't be the first time," Lorelai exclaimed, easing herself onto the floor. Rory rested her head on her lap and Lorelai began to play with her hair. "So, you wanna tell me what's going on?"

"I'm so stupid," Rory groaned. "So stupid."

"Are you pregnant?" Lorelai asked, without thinking.

"What?" Rory cried. "No."

"How do you know?" Lorelai asked, calmly.

"I took a test. A blood test. I'm not pregnant."

"But you thought you were?"

"Yes, I thought I was," Rory answered. "Why else would I be crying all the time?"

She walked over to the sink on her knees and squirted toothpaste on the toothbrush she kept at her mother's house and brushed her teeth.

"Umm, I don't know, hon. Maybe because you left your husband for a man who doesn't love you," Lorelai replied. She paused. "Did you want to be pregnant?"

"No," Rory said, sinking back down onto the floor and putting her head back in Lorelai's lap. "I don't want to bring a baby into this mess."

"Okay," Lorelai said. "Good."

"Oh, Mum," Rory groaned, squeezing her eyes shut and making her hands into fists. "I am stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid."

"Care to explain?" Lorelai prompted, helping Rory sit up.

"I'm stupid. I'm worse than stupid. I'm an idiot. An imbecile. A butt-faced miscreant," she said, giggling slightly at the memory.

"Butt-faced miscreant?" Lorelai asked. "Don't you think that's a little Reese Witherspoon in 'Legally Blonde' just ten times worse?"

"Mum," Rory begged.

"Right. Sorry. And why are you all these things?"

"Because I stupidly, ridiculously, dumbly, selfishly, horribly, terribly left my husband, who loved me, for an arrogant jerk who never loved me and whom I never loved," Rory cried. "And that's not even the worst part. The worst part is that the jerk I left my husband for was still sleeping with his ex-wife or maybe that part didn't come until after I'd entered the picture. I don't know. I don't care. It doesn't change the fact that I'm an idiot and I couldn't even read him the riot act because that would be hypocritical of me."

"Hindsight's a bitch, huh?" Lorelai asked before pausing. "Hang on. Back up. Back right up. Dean is still sleeping with Lindsay?"

"Yep," Rory answered. "Now I know how Logan felt when… Oh no! Logan."

"What's with the 'Logan'?" Lorelai asked as Rory paled and clapped her hands over her mouth. Lorelai pointed to the toilet. "Aim that way, kid."

"Logan is in the hospital. I had a bad feeling about him so I rang Finn on the way and he's in hospital. There was a deer and a ditch and he's in Hartford Memorial. Do you know what that means?" Rory asked.

"That you've passed on your bad luck with deers to him?" Lorelai asked, ignoring the glare her only daughter gave her. "I don't know. That the ambulance drove a long way? Or that he was visiting Colin and Finn and things got a little crazy?"

"Oh," Rory said, looking away. Lorelai mentally smacked herself.

"Rory, I'm so sorry," she said, immediately.

"It's okay. I was being stupid anyway. I just thought…" she said, her voice dropping off.

"That he was on his way to see you," Lorelai finished, sympathetically.

"I'm so stupid," Rory moaned.

A knock came at the door and Luke opened it. He handed Rory the oatmeal and her phone.

"It's the crazy Australian," he shrugged. "Don't know what he wants. I couldn't understand him."

"What's new?" Lorelai asked, wryly.

"Thanks, Luke," Rory smiled as Lorelai got up and followed him out of the bathroom. She sighed and held the phone up to her ear. "Finn?"

"You should get down here," he said, coldly. "I need you to sign some things."

"Okay. I'll be there soon," she said.

"Rory, I need you to sign them and then leave," Finn ordered.

"But, Finn…" she started.

"You made a promise," Finn said.

"But he's my husband. He needs me," she babbled. "And besides, I've made my decision."

"Rory, Logan doesn't need you anymore," Finn said, suddenly. "So I'd rethink your decision."

He hung up so suddenly that Rory was stopped, mid-syllable. She pulsed herself off the bathroom floor and brushed herself off. She walked into the lounge-room where Luke and Lorelai were cuddling on the couch, pretending to be interested in an episode of CSI.

"Your suitcases are in your room," Luke told her, helpfully.

"Thanks," she said, smiling gratefully at him. "I have to go down to the hospital and sign some things. I should be back by 12."

"But hon, it's already after 9," Lorelai said.

"From what Finn says, I'll only need to walk inside the hospital, raise my pen and then I can leave."

"You're not going to see Logan?" Lorelai asked.

"No," she answered. "Apparently, he doesn't need me."

"You want me to come?" her mother asked.

"No. I'll be fine. Really," Rory said, firmly. She put on a brave face. "I'm just going to get changed and then I'll go."

"Dress warm," Lorelai called.

"Will do, Mum," Rory yelled back from her bedroom. She shut the door behind her and surveyed the scene. How much longer would she have to live like this? Clothes in suitcases piled on the floor. She knew it was her choice but still, it sucked. This wasn't exactly what she had in mind when she'd left Logan.

She sank onto the bed and pulled off her brown leather buccaneer boots, letting them drop to the floor with a clank. She left her jeans on but replaced her boots with silver Chanel ballet flats. She pulled off her brown t-shirt and quickly pulled on a white button-up shirt she'd inherited from Logan the night she'd left and added a black cashmere vest. She quickly put on the string of pearls that Emily had given her before grabbing her knee-length black, wool duffel coat and a Burberry scarf. Dressing, even for a hospital visit in the middle of the night, was a task.

She checked herself out in the mirror. Splotchy skin and red eyes would be fixed before she got to the hospital but her hair was a mess. She quickly removed the elastic that barely held her ponytail up and quickly, effortlessly, styled her hair half-up, half down. Perfect. Done.

-

Her legs felt heavy as she made the trek from the car to the well-lit foyer of Hartford Memorial.

"Logan Huntzberger, please," she said politely to the receptionist. She could barely keep the worry out of her voice.

"And you are?" the woman asked, not looking away from the computer.

"Rory Hunt- Lorelai Huntzberger. His wife," she explained.

"You're his wife?" the woman asked, finally looking up from the computer.

"Yes," Rory said, weakly. "I am. Why do you ask?"

"I must be confusing you with someone else," the woman said. "Logan Huntzberger. He's in a private room. 203 on level five."

"Thank you," she said, quickly, before setting off. A sick feeling settled in her stomach, yet again, and she wondered whom the receptionist must have been thinking of. She pressed the button and waited for the elevator to come. The door opened and her question was quickly answered.

"Rory," a tall blonde called, throwing herself at the bewildered brunette. She embraced her before pulling her back into the elevator. "Thank goodness you're here. Logan has been going out of his mind asking for you."

"He has?" she asked.

"He has," the blonde replied. "He was going to see you, you know, when the crash happened. He realized that he was being an idiot just waiting for you to come back. he knows you and he knows how stubborn you are so he decided to take things into his own hands."

"Honor," Rory said, suddenly. "Why was the nurse surprised that I was Logan's wife?"

"Because I have been calling myself Honor Huntzberger all night," Honor laughed. "I find it a most useful name when I need results fast."

"Oh, okay. good," Rory replied, uncertainly. The lift stopped at the fifth floor and Honor dragged her out.

"There's no-one else," Honor said. "Don't worry."

"I'm not," Rory said. She spotted Finn, Colin and Stephanie immediately. She grabbed Honor's arm. "I just need a minute."

"Don't be ridiculous," Honor said. "Look who's here."

"honor, don't," Rory said. "They all hate me."

"They don't hate you," she said, pulling Rory along behind her. "Do we hate Rory?"

"Yes," Finn answered. Rory sighed and slumped into the closest seats. "Don't look so surprised."

"I am not surprised," Rory answered, looking up at them. "I'm just wondering how I got myself into this."

"You must really love him," Stephanie said, sinking into the chair next to Rory and leaning her head on her shoulder. Rory relaxed slightly, knowing that any sign of affection meant Stephanie had forgiven her. "If you're here in front of all us. Willingly."

"She didn't choose to come," Finn spat. Colin stayed quiet, not wanting to get involved.

"I did choose to come, Finn. I didn't have too. Don't think I'm not stupid enough to know that any one of you could probably have signed whatever it is I desperately need to sign. That's the stupid part. And you know, Finn, I don't care what promises I made to you but I kept my promise. I haven't seen Logan. I haven't tried to contact him but I have made my decision and my decision is, if he'll have me, I want him back."

And there. It was done. It was said.


	8. Vigil

**Gilmore Girls**

**These Things I Know**

**A/N:** Happy reading! Genevra.

**Summary:** You might finally have what you thought you always wanted but the truth is this- you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls in anyway.

* * *

**Chapter Eight:** Vigil

* * *

"Mrs. Huntzberger?" the doctor asked, walking up to the group. He looked at Honor expectantly but she pointed at Rory.

"I'm Mrs. Huntzberger," Rory said, shaking herself out of her reverie. There had been silence, except for an excited gasp from Honor, amongst the group ever since her little proclamation. She stood up and shook the doctor's hand, her coat feeling heavy and her scarf making her too warm. She removed it and looked at the doctor. "I'm Rory Huntzberger."

"I have his wife down as Lorelai. Lorelai Leigh Huntzberger," the doctor said. "I assume Rory is a nickname?"

"Well, she is his one and only wife. Not that anyone could tell," Finn said bitterly. Rory looked away as Honor and Stephanie glared at him.

"Right, well," the doctor said, trying to appear nonplussed. "I'm Dr. Reynolds and I'll be Mr. Huntzberger's doctor for tonight."

"How's our boy doing?" Colin asked. Stephanie snaked her arm through his and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. Rory couldn't tear her eyes away from them. She and Logan had been like that once, always touching. It was just something that happened naturally. Sitting as close together as possible or linking their legs discreetly under the table at the dinner parties the frequented. It was just a part of them, until Rory began pushing him away.

"He's in a stable condition," Dr. Reynolds answered. "He'll be one sore boy when he wakes up though."

"Can you tell us exactly what's wrong?" Honor asked. "I mean injury-wise?"

"I'm afraid it all depends on Mrs. Huntzberger," he said, glancing over at Rory who was fidgety. "We can do this here or privately."

"Here's fine," Rory stammered, ignoring the stares from Colin and Finn. "This is Logan's family. He'd want them to know."

"Glad you still remember, love," Finn snorted as Stephanie leant across Colin to slap him.

"Finn, you bastard," she hissed.

"Not now, Finn," Rory pleaded. "I promise when this is all over and done, you can publicly flog me. I swear."

"You have to admit, that's kind of kinky," Colin piped up. Finn caught Rory's eye.

"Parking lot at four," he mouthed.

"You're on," she mouthed back. She smiled comfortingly at Honor who looked worried and squeezed her arm lightly before turning back to Dr. Reynolds who looked slightly disturbed and uncomfortable. "Sorry about that. Private joke. You were saying about Logan…"

"Yes, Mr. Huntzberger was very lucky. He escaped with only a broken rib and a mild concussion," the doctor said.

"He'd have been luckier if he hadn't hit a deer," Colin muttered.

"He's be even luckier if-" Finn continued but was interrupted by a furious Honor.

"Finn, just stop it, okay? I mean it," she snapped. He looked at her darkly before addressing the doctor.

"When can we take him home?" he asked.

"Both are injuries which will heal themselves in time if, and I stress if, Mr. Huntzberger takes it easy for a few weeks and that means no pranks. I'd like to keep him in overnight for observation but due to the nature of the accident," Dr. Reynolds told them. His voice was monotone and bored and they all knew he had given the speech a hundred times before.

"Can we see him?" Stephanie asked. The doctor looked at Rory and she shrugged almost imperceptibly.

"I'm afraid he's already asleep," the doctor said.

"That's fine. I just want to see him," Stephanie continued. "Please. Just for a second."

"In that case, it's up to Mrs. Huntzberger," he said. Rory nodded tiredly, feeling very suddenly drained.

"Of course," she said. The four stood up and left her sitting. Rory watched them walk towards Logan's room. "Oh, Dr. Reynolds, Finn said something about some forms needing signing."

"Yes, insurance forms," he replied. "If you want to wait out here, I'll just take your friends in too see Mr. Huntzberger and then I'll get that all sorted out."

"Okay," she said, feeling weepy. Finn must have seen how distressed she looked because he said nothing but actually shot her a sympathetic look. Stephanie whispered something to Colin before walking back to Rory.

"You going to be okay?" Stephanie asked, pulling her into a hug.

"I'll be fine," she said, brushing the comment away.

"You'll call us if you need anything?" the blonde asked. "The rest of us are going to leave after we've seen Logan but we'll be here early in the morning."

"I'm probably going to go soon too," Rory answered. "But thanks."

"You and I are okay," Stephanie said. "You know that?"

"I kind of figured," Rory commented with a wry smile.

"And Colin and Finn will come around, I promise," she continued. "You'll see."

"Maybe in a few thousand millennia," Rory sighed.

"I doubt that. More like a few hundred," Stephanie laughed. She stuck her middle finger up at Colin who was motioning for her to hurry up. "It's true love, I swear."

"I can tell," Rory laughed. She accepted a kiss from the blonde. "Good night, Steph. And thanks."

"For what?" she asked, winking. "Night, Ace."

She walked off to Colin and leaned into him briefly before following him through the door into Logan's room. Rory watched the door swing shut as she slumped back into the chair and waited for Dr. Reynolds to return with the paperwork. She heard the door to Logan's room open soon after and watched as the four piled out.

"You want me to wait with you?" Finn asked, surprising everyone.

"So you can rip more strips of flesh off?" Rory asked, tilting her head at him.

"That was a joke right, love," the Aussie asked.

"It was a joke," Rory smiled. "I'm good, thanks. I'm a big girl and besides, if you stayed I might force you to give me your rendition of The Passion of the Christ."

"But I'm sober, love," he said.

"Exactly," she deadpanned. "But thank you."

"You're welcome," he said, patting her on the head. She smiled and blinked away the tears that pressed against her eyelids. She looked at the group. "How did he look?"

"You'll see," Colin answered. "Don't think we don't know you will."

"Do you really think I should?" she asked, her vulnerability shining through and wounding them. She really was naïve, their girl. They could see it now. She had been duped and she felt stupid and she regretted it but she knew she had a long way to go to rectify the situation.

"Yes," Finn said, finally, surprising them all again. "I do. We all do."

"Okay," she said, simply.

"But if you're not out of here by 4," he warned, playfully.

"Good night, guys," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Night," the all chorused before walking towards the lift. Rory felt a pang as she watched them go and she nearly called them back when Dr. Reynolds finally returned with the papers. She signed them quickly and silently.

"Would you like to see him?" he asked, softly.

"I might just sit with him for awhile," she answered, staring at the wall. She felt drained. "Do you have a phone I could use first but?"

"You can use the phone at the nurse's desk," he said, taking her arm and guiding her in the direction.

"Thanks," she said when they reached it. She executed two quick phone calls and turned to the doctor.

"You ready?"

"I'm ready."

-

"Oh, Logan," she whispered as she entered the room. "What did you do to yourself?"

"Can I get you anything?" the doctor asked. "A pillow or some coffee. Something to eat maybe?"

"Tell me," Rory smiled. "Are we by any chance in the Huntzberger wing of the hospital?"

"That obvious?" the doctor asked dryly.

"Not really," Rory smirked. "I just wondered. A pillow would be great and a cup of coffee would be most, most appreciated."

"Not a problem," Dr. Reynolds replied. "I'll have Lydia bring some in. Now I have to make rounds. Will you be okay here?"

"I'll be fine. Thank you," she said, trying to make herself comfortable.

"I'll be back during the night to check Logan's vitals."

"You have to wake him up for that, don't you? I don't want him to know I'm here. We've been having… problems."

"Not to worry. You can step outside while we do them. He'll never know," he replied kindly. "You won't get much sleep though."

"I don't mind," she said, suddenly wishing the doctor would just leave them alone. As if reading her mind, he smiled and left the room, closing the door lightly behind him. Rory immediately pulled her chair closer to the bed and rested her cheek on the empty space of bed next to Logan's head. She stared at him and watched as his nostrils flared slightly every time he took a breath. She jumped a million feet when the door opened and a tiny blonde appeared with a pillow under one arm and a steaming mug in the other hand.

"Mrs. Huntzberger?" the nurse asked. Rory used to hate being called 'Miss Gilmore' and would almost always insist people called her Rory but that had changed since she'd married Logan. There was something so fantastic, so final and comforting about being called Mrs. Someone. "I'm Lydia, the night nurse. If you need anything, just push this button and let me know."

"Thanks, Lydia," Rory whispered.

"I'm sorry for scaring you," she whispered back. Rory wanted for everyone to just leave her alone but she pasted on a polite smile anyway.

"I'm fine. I'm just a bit jumpy tonight," she explained, barely veiling her contempt.

"Understandable," Lydia replied. She walked to the door and opened it. "I'll be just outside if you need anything."

Rory forced what she hoped looked like a grateful smile onto her face. She was sick of being polite and sick of saying thanks. She paused for a moment and pressed her eyelids shut. She inhaled and exhaled before resuming her vigilant position next to Logan and she watched him sleep before she found herself drifting off.

She was gently woken what seemed seconds later and she blearily stumbled outside. It happened four more times during the night and despite drinking coffee each time she waited for Logan to fall back into his heavily medicated sleep, she still found herself drifting off within seconds of her head hitting the bed.

A gentle knock on the door woke her just before 7.

"Come in," she croaked. Her throat was dry and her eyes were bleary and barely open. The door opened and a nurse, not Lydia, entered carrying a box of pink Oriental lilies.

"These came for Mr. Huntzberger," she said, timidly.

"Just put them on the table here," Rory said. The nurse hurried over and did so. She looked so nervous, Rory almost sighed. "Thank you."

"Of course, ma'am," she replied meekly and Rory rolled her eyes. The nurse left the room quickly without the curtsy that Rory half-expected. She yawned and looked at her watch. She stood up and stretched before taking her coat and scarf off the back of the chair and putting them on. She picked up her handbag and the pillow before leaning over and kissing Logan softly on the cheek. He stirred and she froze but he quickly went back to sleep.

"Get better," she whispered. She left the room and walked straight up to the desk where the blonde was sitting. "Hi."

"Hi," she replied.

"Can you do me a favour?" Rory asked, placing the pillow on the counter.

"Sure," the blonde agreed.

"If anyone asks for me, can you please tell them I'm in the cafeteria and if I'm not there, I'll be on the roof," Rory said. "And can you please get rid of this pillow? I don't want my husband to know I was here."

"No problem, Mrs. Huntzberger," the nurse replied, suddenly assured of Rory's position.

"Thank you," Rory replied, smiling her first genuine smile in hours. She quickly walked off towards the cafeteria where she poured herself two cups of coffee and sunk into a booth.

"I thought I'd find you here," a familiar voice said, standing above her. There was no anger or accusation in the voice, only knowing.

"Finn," Rory smiled. And suddenly, she was grateful.


	9. Go

**Gilmore Girls**

**These Things I Know**

**A/N:** Boy, am I on a roll or what? I'll just have you know that I have a million different story ideas and one-shot ideas that have probably already been done or will be by the time I finish this but I'm giving them up to work on this. Happy reading! Genevra.

**Summary:** You might finally have what you thought you always wanted but the truth is this- you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls in anyway.

* * *

**Chapter Nine:** Go

* * *

"You were here all night, weren't you?" he asked.

"I wasn't with him all night," she told him honestly.

"Right," he replied, settling in for a long chat. "I believe you, love. Really."

-

"Good morning, sunshine," Finn called, flinging open the door. He saw Logan gingerly finishing his breakfast but he found the room suspiciously free of Rory. She had done a damn good job covering up the fact she was ever there. Colin and Stephanie swept in behind Finn, just as he was handing Logan one of the flower's from Rory's box. "How's our golden child this morning?"

"Sore," Logan answered, grimacing as Finn punched his shoulder. "Ouch."

"Baby," Colin teased, punching his other shoulder.

"I hate you," Logan moaned. He smiled as Stephanie kissed his cheek. "Her, I love."

"I'm flattered, Loges, but you're about nine months too late," she joked, as Colin put a protective arm around her. "Anyway, how are you feeling?"

"I already told you. Sore," he snapped. The others exchanged glances.

"Someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" Colin asked. Logan looked up at Finn who was following his every move.

"Ace was here."

"Yeah, mate. We know," Finn replied.

"All night, in fact," Logan continued. "She only left six times. Four times when they took my vitals and twice to go to the bathroom. And she managed to order me flowers. I mean, I would have known she was here even if I hadn't of woken up and found her asleep next to me. The room just felt different. I could feel her, you know? I could smell her. Knowing her, she's probably still here."

"She left Dean," Stephanie blurted out, unable to control herself. Finn and Colin groaned but she continued anyway. "It was before. I mean, she left Dean before she found out about the accident. It was just freakily perfect timing."

"Is this true?" he asked.

"Yeah. Actually, she rang me on the way to her mother's," Finn admitted. "Right after she left."

"Why?" Logan asked.

"Because she just knew," Stephanie replied. "You guys practically read each other's minds. It's disgusting yet unbelievably sweet."

"Have you any of you seen her this morning?" he asked.

"I have," Finn replied. "We had coffee together. Well, she had coffee. I just sat there."

"Surprise, surprise," Colin said, rolling his eyes.

"She wanted me to make sure you knew that she'd left Dean first. So that you'd know it was her own choice and not obligation," Finn added.

"I think it's better you had the accident," Colin said, wisely. The others gaped at him in surprise but he was unswayed. "Think about it seriously. If you had gotten there and Rory wasn't there, you would have wanted to fight Carpenter Boy and both of you probably would have be in worse shape right now not to mention the fact that Rory would hate either one or both of you. Actually, she would have hated you because you would have killed him because even though Ror chose to leave, she didn't make the decision herself. He helped her. He tricked her when he told her he loved her even though he didn't. Believe me, we all know you don't mess with Logan's girl. You would have beaten him down."

"The boy has a point," Finn agreed.

"I'm so proud of you," Stephanie beamed, kissing his cheek. She turned to the boys and smiled. "I didn't even tell him that. He came up with it all by himself."

"Is she going to come and see me?" Logan asked. Everyone turned to look at him and he sighed. "Yes, Colin's right. I would have beaten him to a bloody pulp and he would have deserved it but Rory doesn't deserve to get away scot-free either."

"She's the only one who's actually going to get punished and that isn't fair," Stephanie said, spouting her female wisdom. The guys looked at her skeptically. "Think about it. Dean doesn't want her and he doesn't have her so he's fine. He can go off and steal someone else's girl now and the ball's in your court now Logan and we know you and what you can do and we know you'll make her pay so really, she's the only one getting punished."

"Are you saying I should beat up her ex?" Logan asked.

"No. I'm saying play nice," Stephanie warned. "I mean it."

"I'm not going to hurt her," Logan snapped defensively. "But I'm not going to make it easy for her. I love her and I want everything to work out. Now answer me, is my wife coming to see me while I'm bright-eyed and awake?"

"I don't think so, mate," Finn replied. "I think she's just going to wait around until the release forms are ready and sign them."

"Couldn't one of you have done that?" he asked.

"The hospital has some new policy," Colin explained. "Apparently, only family is allowed to sign patients out unless there are extreme circumstances. We tried to tell explain that not only are these extreme circumstances but that we are your family. I mean, Honor was even here last night but she had to leave so they insisted on Rory."

There was a long pause as they listened to the going's on outside in the hallway. Finn was standing before Logan even opened his mouth.

"I'll be right back," he said in a knowing tone.

"Where are you going?" Stephanie asked innocently.

"You know where I'm going, doll," he sighed. "To get Reporter Girl. Right, Logan? But before I do, I want you to promise to be nice."

"Finn…"

"Logie…"

"I hate it when you call me that."

-

He found her on the roof this time. The cold air made her cheeks flushed and her nose red. All in all, it was a look that suited her.

"You'd make a cute snow bunny," he said, taking one of the cups of coffee she had settled near her.

"Thanks, I think," she smiled.

"So maybe you didn't stay with him all night," he started.

"Maybe I didn't," she replied.

"Let me guess. You left the room four times when they took Logan's vitals and twice to presumably go the bathroom. How close am I?"

"As if you were there," she murmured, looking at him strangely. He could almost hear the wheels ticking around her brain. "You don't mean…"

"Yes, I mean," Finn laughed. "He knew you were there the whole time."

"Was he angry?" she asked, refusing to look at Finn. "I understand if he was."

"He wasn't angry, love," Finn replied. "He was surprised but he wasn't angry."

"Good. That's good," she mused.

"He knows," Finn answered before the question could be asked. Rory finally lifted her eyes to him but she wasn't surprised. "And yes, we all told him you'd left Dean before you heard about the accident. Don't look so surprised. I can keep a promise, love."

"Oh," she said, staring into the lid of her coffee cup.

"He wants to see you, love."

She lifted the coffee cup to her mouth and tilted her head back. She sighed angrily and glared at Finn.

"You took the full one," she said and Finn smiled. This was going to be okay.

**-**

Finn knocked on the door softly to alert everyone to his and Rory's presence. He looked at Rory for confirmation before he thrust her into the spotlight. She swallowed hard, twice, and was breathing heavily but she looked at him with resilient and determined eyes. He opened the door and stood aside leaving Rory in the middle of the doorway. Her eyes met Logan's immediately and she kept her gaze on him as she took three steps into the room, towards the end of the bed. His expression was unreadable as Finn stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. Rory tore her eyes away as Finn touched the small of her back and guided her to the chair she had spent the night in.

"Hey," she addressed Logan, her voice shaky and uncertain.

"Hey yourself, Ace," he replied. Again, his voice and expression were inscrutable. She frowned slightly and swallowed again.

"How're you… How's your head?" she asked. The exchange was painful to watch and painful to experience. He was giving her nothing to work with.

"Been better," he shrugged. "You sleep well last night?"

"Sure," she replied. She closed her eyes and inhaled. She kept her eyes shut while she talked. "Why don't you just say what you have to say and get it over with?"

The room held it's collective breath. He surprised them all by putting a hand on her face, cupping her chin. Her eyes flung open at the contact and she felt a pit open up in her stomach but she didn't move. Without talking, Colin, Finn and Stephanie gathered their things and quietly left the room. Rory managed to bite back a laugh when she heard Finn whoop in the hallway. Logan's thumb moved over her mouth and she fought the impulse to lick her lips. Her eyes fell shut and when she opened them, her eyes shone with tears.

"I'm sick of crying," she half-whimpered, half-laughed, fracturing the silence.

"Then don't," Logan replied. He heard a sharp intake of breath and suddenly, Rory's face was buried in his neck. He felt the wet tears on his neck and the bed shaking as she shuddered.

"I can't help it. I feel so bad all of the time," she wept. "I feel so stupid. I hate myself."

"I'm not too fond of you either, at the moment," he murmured, leaning down to kiss her soft, glossy hair. His fingers absentmindedly stroked her hair.

"Do you hate me?" she whispered. "I know I deserve it but please say you don't hate me. I don't think I could handle that."

"I don't hate you. You're still my Ace and you always will be."

"I'm so sorry, Logan," she said, looking up at him. Her face was tear-stained but she was beautiful and he knew he would never love anyone else quite so much. "I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want to hurt anybody."

"I know," he replied.

"I just thought that," she started.

"You just thought what?" he asked.

"I thought that you would get bored with me," she admitted. "That you would stop loving me because you were so used to having all those other girls. I was naïve and stupid but I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn't think I was hurting you. I just thought I was making the inevitable come sooner."

"Rory, there hasn't been anyone else since you," he said.

"We both know that isn't strictly true," she sighed. "We did go on a break once."

"There was no one serious," he sighed. "I don't know why you thought that."

"I thought I didn't love you anymore," she said. "I thought that if I could see Dean and pretend I had these feelings, it meant I didn't love you and I didn't deserve you if I didn't love you but I was lying to myself. I love you, Logan. I love you more than anyone should love a person but I know that I've hurt you and that I will have to work so hard to make it up to you but I want to try. I want to be with you. Nobody else. Just you."

"Forgive me for being rude but I've heard that one before," he remarked.

"I know," she replied, trying not to appear stung. "But please tell me we can try. Tell me you'll let me make it up to you."

"I don't know."

"It's not going to be easy but please," she pleaded. "Please. I'm begging you, Logan. Don't throw this away. We have this chance to be happy again. We have this chance to be us again."

"I just don't think I can," he answered. "Not just yet. I need more time."

"Do you love me, Logan?" she asked, her voice cracking. He had tears in his own eyes but he would not let them fall.

"What does that have to do with anything?" he asked. "Love?"

"Do you love me?"

"Yes, I love you," he snapped. "Of course I love you. I never once stopped loving you. Not for a second."

"Then why can't we get over this?" she asked.

"Because like you said, it's going to take time. You hurt me, Rory. You hurt me badly and I'm not ashamed to admit it," he said. "I promise you, in the future, this will all be okay but right now, I need you to sign me out of this hospital and then leave me alone."

"You don't mean that," she cried.

"Yes, I do," he said. "We need this. We need more time to heal."

"But what am I going to do?" she asked. "I can't stay with my mother forever. I don't want too. I want to be with you."

"Go to New York," he suggested. "Work at the Times for a little while. It'll all workout. You'll see."

"Logan," she tried.

"Ace," he said, holding up a hand. "Stop. I can't do this and I don't want too. Please just go to New York. It'll be better for both of us."

"Fine," she said, standing up. "Fine. I'll go to New York if that's what you want."

"It's what I want," he said, the tone of his voice betraying him. They stared at each other but he did not back down. She picked up her bag and swept out of the room.

"I guess that didn't go so well," Colin remarked, watching her sweep through the floor and disappear into the bathroom.

"I guess you're right," Finn replied.


	10. L'Appartemente

**Gilmore Girls**

**These Things I Know**

**A/N:** Boy, am I on a roll or what? I'll just have you know that I have a million different story ideas and one-shot ideas that have probably already been done or will be by the time I finish this but I'm giving them up to work on this. Happy reading! Genevra.

**Summary:** You might finally have what you thought you always wanted but the truth is this- you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls in anyway.

* * *

**Chapter Ten:** L'Appartmente

* * *

"Are you sure you want to go?" Lorelai asked, looking out Rory's bedroom window at the swirling snow. It had started snowing the day Logan had left the hospital and had continued steadily the entire week since. Rory dropped a sweater, mid-fold, and walked over to stand behind her mother.

"It's not forever," she pointed out. "And besides, it's New York. It's my dream."

"Was your dream," Lorelai sighed.

"It still is," Rory said, her voice adamant. She was trying so hard to make herself believe that and Lorelai could tell.

"I know but New York. Really? After everything that's happened?" Lorelai asked.

"If going to New York is going to save my marriage, I'm going to go," Rory replied. "I know you understand that. I'd go to the ends of the earth for that."

"Even Paris?" Lorelai asked. "Because that would be hell."

"Even Paris," Rory replied. "Hell-ish as it seems."

"I'm just going to miss you, is all," Lorelai admitted.

"Aww. You're too sweet," Rory smiled.

"I think you misunderstand me. I just meant that I'm going to miss having someone to do all those crazy things with but I know that soon enough, I'll get over that and I'll forget you even existed. Or maybe, I'll even find a Rory clone and she'll be even better than the original."

"Hey!" Rory pouted as Luke appeared in the doorway. "That's unfair."

"Yeah, well, get over it. Ok, ultimate Pulp Fiction joke," Lorelai said, changing tack suddenly. Three tomatoes are walking down the street- a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato and smooshes him and says…"

"Ketchup!" the two women yelled together.

"I swear, I will never understand you two," he said, rolling his eyes. "I bought home hamburgers."

"I like him," Rory said. "You picked good."

"Yeah, he's good for some things," Lorelai agreed. "Food, massages, general slavery and no one hugs quite as well as him on a cold winter's morning. The early nights are a bit of a downer, if you get what I'm saying. Not that I'm saying our-"

"Lorelai!" Luke snapped, knowing her more than well enough to know exactly where she was going. "Burgers, fries, coffee. Eat now."

"Or forever hold your peace," Lorelai continued, as Luke left the room. She turned to Rory. "Aren't you going to miss our witty repertoire?"

"I love you, Mum," Rory said, giving her mother a hug.

"You too, kiddo," Lorelai replied, kissing Rory's forehead. She dragged her into the kitchen and took a seat. "Did I tell you the one about the Pope?"

"No wonder she's leaving," Luke said, glancing at Rory.

"You lie," Lorelai gasped. She ate some fries and then smiled. "How about the one with the three girls running from the law?"

She paused for a second and without waiting for an answer launched straight into the joke.

"So, there's these three women, a red-head, a blonde and a brunette, and they're running from the law. This policeman starts chasing them and they find themselves in an alleyway. There are three sacks and they each quickly get into one. The policeman comes into the alleyway and he sees its empty except for the three sacks so he goes up to the first one, which is holding the brunette, and he kicks it. She thinks quickly and says, 'Woof, woof.' 'Oh, it's just a dog,' the policeman thinks. He moves to the second sack, which the redhead is in and he kicks it. 'Meow, meow,' the redhead goes. 'Oh, it's just a cat,' the policeman thinks," Lorelai said. She began laughing hysterically, so hard tears had formed in her eyes. Rory and Luke watched her stoically over their burgers, which only spurred her on more. "Finally, he gets to the third sack which the blonde is in and he kicks… he kicks it and she goes 'Potatoes, potatoes' and the policeman goes, 'It's only… it's only a sack of potatoes!'"

"She's your mother," Luke shrugged, looking over at Rory who was unsuccessfully trying to hide a smile. Rory laughed slightly and turned to her mother who was fanning herself dramatically.

"Oh my gosh!" she cried. "That's like the funniest joke in the world. How can you not be laughing?"

"I think we're desensitized to anything funny," Rory replied.

"That's not the funniest joke in the world, Lorelai," Luke calmly replied.

"Yes, it is! When I told Sookie, she laughed so hard she fell off her chair," Lorelai exclaimed. She looked at them aghast and then sighed before picking up her hamburger. She thoughtfully chewed a mouthful and then put her burger back down. "I know, how about the lawyer in Heaven? Or the blind man jumping from an aeroplane?"

"Living room?" Luke asked Rory.

"Definitely," Rory agreed, picking up her plate. They started making their way to the living room.

"Hey!" Lorelai cried. "Where are you going?"

"To a sane place," Rory replied.

"But I'm not finished yet," she pouted.

"We know," Luke replied. "That's exactly why we're going."

"Huh! Can you believe?" she yelled after them. "My own husband and daughter. How ungrateful. We'll see how you feel when I'm gone."

-

"Are you really, really sure?" Lorelai asked, as the last of Rory's suitcases was packed into the boot of the limousine. Most of her stuff had been moved to New York already but there were just a few bags she'd kept.

"I'm really, really sure," Rory replied. She shivered in the cold and pulled her scarf tighter around her neck.

"Remember Mitchum's paying for everything so call heaps and heaps, okay?" Lorelai asked, pulling Rory into a hug.

"I'll call so much you'll wish I was never born," Rory replied, putting on a brave face.

"Oh, hon," Lorelai replied. "I doubt that. I wished you'd never been born the first time you got into my make-up and ruined my favourite Little Black Dress."

"Hey, you swore you'd never bring that up again," Rory cried.

"Uh, no. You swore I'd never bring it up again," Lorelai replied. "I swore I'd only bring it back if the occasion justified it and I think that the occasion justifies it."

"When you're ready, Mrs. Huntzberger," Frank said, tipping his hat.

"Thank you, Frank," Rory replied. She bit her lip nervously and tears formed in her eyes. She breathed in deeply and turned to her mother. "I guess this is it."

"You know you don't have to go," Lorelai tried to convince her one last time.

"Yes, I do," Rory replied, calmly. She looked around the winter-y wonderland. "Where did Luke go?"

"He's inside," Lorelai replied. "I'll just go get him."

"Okay," Rory nodded bravely. Her mother kissed the side of her head and left her standing in the front yard of her childhood home. She looked around at the snow-covered ground, to the lone tree that Lorelai still parked her car under and to the chuppah that Luke and Lorelai had ended up being married under. Rory shivered again as cold flakes of snow landed on her nose, cheeks and eyelashes. The sky was ever darkening and the night was growing colder. Suddenly, Luke and Lorelai appeared from the house. Rory watched them and gasped. She placed her hands over her mouth and smiled. "Oh my gosh. I can't believe you remembered."

"Here," Luke said, handing her the picnic basket and a hot thermos. "We thought you might be hungry on the way."

"Thank you," Rory smiled. Frank took the basket and thermos from her and the red-checkered blanket from Lorelai and placed them in the backseat of the car. Rory had always wanted to have a picnic in the back of a limo but she'd never gotten around to it.

"We just wanted something for you to remember us by," Lorelai said, seriously. She nodded her head. "Yeah. Something special."

"Well, this isn't exactly going to top the recreation of the Bangles concert for my 20th, it will go high on my list," Rory smiled.

"You should go, kid," Luke said. "It's getting cold."

"You trying to get rid of her?" Lorelai asked, leaning into him. He rolled his eyes but kissed her anyway.

"No. I know how much you love her," Luke replied.

"Luke's right. If we don't leave, we might get stuck in the snow on the way," Rory agreed. She hugged Luke and smile dup at him. "Bye, Luke."

"See you, Rory. Good luck," he smiled back. He let go of her and let Lorelai gather her daughter up.

"Bye, Mum," Rory said, becoming teary.

"Bye, babe," Lorelai replied, sniffling. "I wasn't going to cry. It just doesn't look good in the tabloids when the paparazzi take crying photos. My face will look all splotchy."

"I think you look beautiful," Rory replied, her mother's joke ceasing some of her own tears. "It's only New York. It's not like it's Uruguay."

"I know," Lorelai agreed. "I just got used to having you home again."

"I'll be back almost every weekend," Rory told her. "Believe me when I say you'll get sick of me."

"Impossible," Luke said. "Isn't it, Lorelai?"

"I suppose," Lorelai agreed.

"I should go," Rory said. "Really go."

"Okay," Lorelai sighed.

"Take good care of her," Rory said to Luke.

"I will."

"And you be nice to him, okay?" Rory ordered her mother.

"Fine," Lorelai sighed, rolling her eyes. She gave Rory one last hug before Rory climbed into the car. "Hey, Rory?"

"Yeah," Rory said, sticking her head out the door.

"I hope things work out okay with you and Logan," Lorelai called softly.

"So do I," Rory agreed, as Frank closed the door. She pressed the button and the window wound down as Frank walked to the front of the car and started it. Lorelai blew her a kiss as she car started moving and the three of them waved to each other until the car was out of sight.

-

"We're almost there, Mrs. Huntzberger," Frank said lightly as the partition between the two came down. Rory rose from her sleep and looked at him groggily.

"Almost where?" she asked. She looked through the window at the unfamiliar sights and remembered. "At the new apartment. Right. Have you been there yet, Frank?"

"Yes, I have. It's lovely," he answered. He turned his blinker on and pulled a card out of his pocket. He stuck the card into the machine and a gate creaked open. "I don't know if Mr. Huntzberger told you anything about the place but there's an underground garage for your car but you'll need a keycard for it. I'm sure there's one upstairs for you. If you don't feel like driving, I'll be available on the same number."

"Thanks, Frank," Rory replied, as they drove down the ramp. He pulled into a designated parking spot and immediately hopped out of the front seat to open her door. She slid out gracefully and fixed her clothes up. A short man with white hair came up to her and immediately took her hand.

"Welcome," he said. "You must be Lorelai Huntzberger."

"Everyone calls me Rory," she replied, shaking his hand. "Lorelai is my mother's name."

"Welcome, Rory. I'm Harold, the manager," he said. "And door-man."

"It's nice to meet you, Harold," she smiled.

"Have you got any bags, madam?" he asked. Rory looked at Frank who had opened the boot.

"I'll take care of Mrs. Huntzberger's bags," he said quickly. Rory smiled at him gratefully. She was sure she was going to like Harold but it was all a little overwhelming.

"Of course. Not a problem," Harold said. "Now, Rory, Mitchum is an old friend of mine and he gave me explicit instructions to take good care of you."

"How sweet," Rory intoned, uninterestedly. She faked a yawn and out of the corner of her eye, she watched Frank laugh. She turned to Harold. "Could you excuse me for a moment? I just need to talk to Frank about something."

"What is it, Mrs. Huntzberger?" he asked, when Rory went over to him.

"Call me Rory," she said.

"I beg your pardon?" he asked.

"I've known since I was twenty. For three years," she replied. "I hate this old-school thing we have going on. If my doorman whom I've known for three seconds is going to call me Rory, I want you to call me Rory."

"Okay," he agreed, looking a little shell-shocked. "If you insist."

"I insist. Now please do something to make the little old man leave me alone," she begged. She shook herself and walked graciously back over to Harold. "I thought I left something back at home but I haven't."

"It's not home anymore, Rory," Harold answered. "New York is."

"I don't know what you were told, Harold, but this isn't permanent," she explained.

"That's not what I was told," Harold answered.

"Rory, it's getting late and you have a busy day tomorrow," Frank interjected, having removed the last of her bags from the boot. "Maybe we should get you upstairs."

"Of course, of course," Harold said, snapping into action. "The apartment is lovely. Top-floor, stunning views. Mitchum said he hoped you didn't mind but he went ahead and decorated it."

"Actually, that isn't quite true," Frank said, when they hopped into the lift. "Logan decorated it just before you two got married."

"He what?" Rory asked, snapping her head around to look at him.

"Umm, I'm not sure that's entirely true," Harold interjected, looking nervous.

"It is," Frank replied. "He planned on surprising you with the apartment and a transfer to New York but then the… incident happened."

"The incident?" Rory asked.

"He only finished decorating it three months ago," Frank explained, lowering his voice. Rory sighed sadly and closed her eyes.

"I understand," she whispered.

"Are you feeling alright?" Harold asked her.

"I'm fine. Just tired," she said. The lift pinged to a stop and they found themselves in a long white hallway with charcoal carpet. It was adorned simply, with a silver gilt mirror and a small table with a thick, cream pillar candle and a vase of flowers atop it. An umbrella stand stood next to the lift door, complete with Burberry umbrella and a pair of black gumboots that would never be worn. Rory walked down the hallway silently and studied a portrait of herself and Logan. It was decorated exactly as she wanted, right down to the frame of the photo. She turned to Frank. "He did all this?"

"Yes," Frank answered.

"Wow," she replied. She let Harold pass her and unlock the front door. It was, after all, New York and despite all the security, front doors still needed to be locked.

"If you're tired, perhaps you can have Marta run you a bath," Harold suggested.

"Marta?" she asked.

"Your live-in maid," he replied.

"I know who Marta is," Rory told him. "I just wasn't aware she was here."

"If you're unhappy, I can let Mitchum know," Harold suggested.

"I'm not happy but if ever I am, I assure you I can let Mitchum know myself," she spat. "Can we go inside, please? I want to see the rest of the house.

Harold silently opened the door and let her in. Marta immediately ran into the room and moved to take her coat.

"It's fine, Marta," Rory said, backing away and looking around at the room. It was exactly how she'd imagined. White walls, light grey carpet. Flashes of pink, silver, chocolate and duck-egg blue. The furniture, apart from the white leather couch and window seat, was charcoal or dark wood. Black framed photos, candles and knick-knacks adorned shelves and cabinet-tops. A granite coffee table, almost identical to the one in the living room at their New Haven mansion sat in between the 'L' shaped lounge, a vase of pink flowers perched on top. She looked out at the terrace and at the French-style wrought iron table and chairs. Fairy lights twinkled and she smiled. It was magic.

"Do you like it?" Marta asked. She had been one of the maid's back at the mansion and she and Rory had always gotten along.

"It's beautiful. It's perfect," Rory sighed. She turned to Harold. "Listen, I'm sorry if I sound rude but I'm really tired. I'm sure there's a lot of stuff we need to go through but can we do it tomorrow?

"That'll be fine," he answered. He tipped his hat. "Sleep well, madam."

"You too," she replied. He let himself out and after moving the suitcases to Rory's room, Frank did the same. She was almost sorry to see him go.

"Can I get you anything?" Marta asked, puncturing the silence.

"Nah. I'm fine," Rory answered. "You can have the rest of the night off, Marta. Go out, if you really want too."

"I might just go to my suite, if that's okay," she replied.

"That's fine. I'll see you in the morning," Rory said. The brunette hurried off to her suite, leaving Rory standing in the living room. She poured herself a club soda and switched off the light before walking into the master bedroom. It was almost an exact replica of her New Haven bedroom but with some difference. The brown leather bed-head had been replaced with an antique wrought-iron bed and the quilt was now white with tiny, delicate embroidered pink roses. The bedside tables and drawers were painted a soft eggshell blue. It was perfect. Girly and feminine and she loved it.

She slumped onto the bed and sighed blissfully. She quickly called her mother and left a message on her voicemail, telling her everything was okay and that she'd call her in the morning. After changing and crawling back into bed, Rory knew she would have to call Logan and thank him. She yawned and felt herself drifting to sleep. The bed was so comfortable, she didn't know if she could even force herself to roll over and pick up the phone. She yawned again and burrowed further into the lace pillows.

She could call him in the morning.


	11. Recline

**Gilmore Girls**

**These Things I Know**

**A/N:** Happy reading! Genevra.

**Summary:** You might finally have what you thought you always wanted but the truth is this- you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls in anyway.

* * *

**Chapter Eleven:** Recline

* * *

"Do you know what date it is?" Rory asked as soon as her mother answered the phone.

"It's the eleventh of December," Lorelai replied. "Don't worry, honey. You haven't missed it. Santa hasn't come yet. There's still fourteen more sleeps."

"No, not Santa," Rory shot-back. "My anniversary. In six days."

"Why so it is," Lorelai agreed. "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. That's why I called you," Rory exclaimed. "What do you do when you and your husband live apart and you don't know where you stand?"

"I don't think they ever told us that in Pippi or Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and I'm almost positive it wasn't in Rambo Parts One, Two, Three, Four or Five," Lorelai admitted. "And because of that, I'm at a loss."

"Mum," Rory groaned. "Be serious."

"I am being serious," Lorelai replied. "You wanted a cool mum, not a mum who had all the answers."

"Well, this is one time I'd rather not have the cool mum."

"You know you don't mean that," Lorelai cried, aghast. "Are you honestly saying that you'd take back all the time spent watching 'The Office' together so I can tell you what to do?"

"Yes!" Rory shouted.

"I don't believe you. I can't believe you," Lorelai gasped. There was a frustrated groan from Rory's end.

"I have another call," she sighed. "I'm putting you on hold."

"Please, not on hold," Lorelai cried dramatically. She 'hmmphed' when the cadence of Rory's voice and the sounds of the busy NYT office morphed into Mozart's 'Requiem.' Lorelai made a face. Hold music was so depressing. 'Requiem' quickly turned into 'Blue Danube', which was marginally better. It seemed to Lorelai that in the two weeks Rory had been in New York, she was always waiting for her. Their phone calls had been peppered with interruptions and although Lorelai was happy that Rory was finally living her dream, she wondered if her daughter wasn't maybe pushing things too hard. The music dragged on and just as Lorelai was contemplating hanging up the phone, Rory came back on.

"Sorry," she said quickly. "It was Finn."

"How is Finn?" Lorelai asked. She had always liked him and secretly thought he was the closest a guy could come to being a Gilmore Girl.

"Finn is… Finn," Rory replied. Lorelai knew what she meant. Asking how Finn was was akin to asking how Kirk was. It was an unanswerable question that shouldn't ever be attempted. "What did Finn want?"

"Apparently, he's found the love of his life and the five of them are coming up to have dinner so I can meet her," Rory explained. Again, Lorelai understood. She didn't need to ask who the five were, she knew.

"So it's sort of going to be like a little suicide group meeting?" Lorelai asked.

"I thought you'd gotten over that," Rory replied.

"Nah. Never. So, is she a red-head?"

"You know, I didn't actually think to ask," Rory admitted. "I just assumed. Hang on, I'm putting you on hold again."

Lorelai sighed but took the time to take a few bites of her lunch as 'Fur Elise' played. Rory was back almost instantly and she sounded angry.

"That was Shira," she spat. "Apparently, Logan and I are hosting a party on Christmas Eve."

"You're what?" Lorelai asked.

"You heard me. This is all Mitchum's doing."

"You don't think maybe it was Emily's doing?" Lorelai asked. "Mum has been pretty quiet lately."

"I don't think so," Rory sighed. "I talked to her yesterday and as far as I knew, we we're having Christmas Eve at their house. I don't really think she would let herself be outshone by a Huntzberger function."

"You actually agreed to spend time there?" Lorelai asked.

"Yes, I did," Rory replied.

"And I thought I taught you better," Lorelai sighed. "But I think you have a point about Grandma not wanting to be outshone. I mean, look what Italy did in the Second World War. They pretty much just latched themselves onto whoever was winning."

"How do you know what happened in World War II?" Rory asked.

"Lost the remote and I didn't feel like getting out of bed to change the channel," Lorelai admitted.

"Oh. I understand," Rory mused. "I thought for a second you'd gone all intellectual on me."

"Are you kidding? I'm much too good-looking for that. And besides, the crew at the Playboy mansion would just die."

"You're not blonde," Rory shot-back.

"Whatever. You know, you could always just say no to Shira," Lorelai suggested.

"Invitations have already gone out," Rory replied. "And besides, Grandma would kill me."

"It's damned if you do, damned if you don't with that woman," Lorelai countered. She looked at her watch. "I've got to go, kid, but maybe you should call Logan."

"Good idea," Rory answered.

"I believe you meant to say 'Smart thinking, ninety-nine,'" Lorelai argued.

"I stand corrected," Rory deadpanned. "Say hi to Luke for me."

"Hi to Luke for me," Lorelai cried triumphantly. "Ha! Gotcha."

"You're a real comedian," Rory replied.

"I know. And lucky for you, it's in the genes."

"Goodbye, ninety-nine."

"Wait! Just one more," Lorelai begged.

"I'm hanging up now," Rory said. She paused for effect and then slammed the receiver down. She immediately picked it up and dialed her secretary's number.

"Yes, Rory," Elaine greeted her.

"Hey Elaine. Can you please try and get Logan on the phone for me? It's Tuesday before one so he should still be in the office but if not, you should be able to get him on his mobile," she instructed. "Thanks Elaine."

She hung up and then picked up the nearest blue pen to mark the following night's activities and the Christmas Eve party into her diary. She looked around at her simply decorated office. She didn't plan on staying long but she had bought in a few things to make her feel at home. She was acting as Features Editor for the time being. The current editor had left on maternity leave and Mitchum had insisted she take the position.

Rory stood up and straightened her black pencil skirt and pale blue business shirt. She walked over and reclined on the black leather couch while she waited for Elaine to find Logan. She pulled the Melrose clip from her hair and let it fall in soft waves around her shoulders. The red light lit up on her phone. She jumped up, hit the talk button and switched it to speakerphone.

"Rory Huntzberger," she said languidly, as she sauntered back to the couch.

"Ace," Logan said. "You rang."

"I did?" she asked innocently, a smile spreading across her face. "I must have forgot."

"You've been hanging around Stephanie too much."

"I disagree," she replied, stretching out. "I don't think I see her enough. And anyway, just think, if it weren't for her, you and I would never have been together."

"I disagree," he replied. "We would have. And you're lying down."

"How did you know?" she asked, sitting up. She heard a rap on the glass pane in the door and smiled.

"I can see you," he told her. "Can I come in?"

"You know how to open a door, Huntzberger," she said. He opened the door and walked in, dramatically flipping the phone closed.

"I really like what you've done with the place," he remarked, looking around at the almost bare surroundings.

"Thanks," she replied, lightly. "I wanted something that screamed me. Like the apartment. It's beautiful. Thanks."

"So you've said," he answered, sitting next to her on the couch. They both sunk back, their shoulders touching. "So, Ace, what compelled you to call me?"

"The in-laws," she answered. "And what compelled you to come here?"

"The parents," he deadpanned. "And I thought I could buy you lunch."

"I already ate," she frowned.

"Two coffees and a blueberry muffin don't count," he admonished her.

"It was an apple and cinnamon muffin," she shot-back.

"But you hate apple and cinnamon muffins," he reminded her, giving her a strange look.

"There was no blueberry ones left. It was that or rolled oats or something. I took my chances," she explained seriously.

"I understand your dilemna," he mused. He jumped up suddenly and held out a hand. "Come on, let's go. I'll even let you pick where we go."

She thought about it for a nanosecond and then extended her hand. He grabbed it and pulled her up. He let go of her hand briefly, to help her into her coat and to loop her scarf around her neck. He brushed a loose strand of hair off her face before leading her from the room.

"Elaine, I'm going out for lunch," Rory said to her secretary. "I probably won't be back so you can leave when you're done."

"Who's he?" she asked, before she could stop herself. Logan and Rory exchanged smiles.

"I'm Logan," he said, holding out his free hand, which Elaine shook. "Rory's husband. And we should probably go."

"See you, Elaine," Rory called as Logan dragged her towards the lift. "What's the rush?"

"I just wanted to do this," he said, pulling her into the empty lift and kissing her softly. She kissed him back, her fingers running through his hair as his hands cupped her face. He pulled away almost as quickly as he kissed her.

"What was that for?" she asked, leaning against the back of the elevator, happily.

"I just wanted to know what it would be like," he said, mimicking her hair. She moved to kiss him again but the door pinged open and people piled in.

"Hey, Rory," someone called. A brunette made her way to the back of the lift and she rose an eyebrow when she saw Logan's arm snaked around her new friend's waist.

"Sharna, this is my husband, Logan," she introduced them. "Sharna's in features. The 'I- can girl.'"

"I know your work," Logan replied. He and Rory had their own secret language when it came to talking about the paper. "Sharna Williams. I loved you piece on public vs. private schools."

"Thanks," she replied, chuffed. The lapsed into silence again. Logan and Rory were relishing being in each other's presence. The lift eventually came to the ground and they reluctantly tore themselves away from each other and tottered across the marble floor.

"Where to?" Logan asked.

"There's a really nice café just down the street," Rory suggested. She saw Logan's face and smiled. "Or I hear Le Cirque does nice lunches. I think it's more in your budget."

"Sounds perfect," he smiled, flagging a cab. They scrambled in and got comfy in a mess of limbs and coats before they spoke again. "I'm sorry about the way things happened at the hospital."

"Don't be," she said quickly. "I was idiot enough to think that with one apology, it could all go back to the way it was."

"That's the thing," he said. "I thought I wanted you out of my life and sending you here was just the easy way out. I even hoped that you'd love it so much, you wouldn't want to come home."

"That could never happen," she said softly, touching his cheek.

"I know which is good because I miss you and I can't do this without you," he exclaimed. "I don't want to do this without you."

"You don't have to," she replied. "I'm right here."

"It cant go back right away," he told her, rehashing the same old stuff.

"I know," she agreed."

"We'll have to take it one step at a time. You know, call each other everyday, spend weekends together," he continued. "And I think we should have the Christmas party. I think we should spend Christmas together."

"I want that too. You know, people thought we were stupid for getting married so close to Christmas but I love Christmas. It just seemed so right," she said. It clicked in Logan's head and he paled.

"Our anniversary," he whispered. Rory took his hand.

"It's okay, Logan. We don't have to make a big deal out of it," she replied. "This hasn't been the best year."

"It's not that. It's just that I completely forgot and I made plans with Colin, Finn and some guys I haven't seen in awhile," he said. A flash of hurt briefly crossed Rory's face but she covered it quickly. "I can cancel. It's fine."

"No," she said. "It's probably better this way."

"Rory," he tried.

"Logan, it's fine. Really. We're spending Christmas together. That's enough."

"We're doing something," he said, suddenly.

"We're what?" she asked.

"On Sunday. We're doing something. It's our anniversary, Ace, it's important. We have to something."

"You sure?" she asked.

"I'm sure," he replied. He sealed the deal by pulling her closer and kissing her softly.


	12. Diamonds

**Gilmore Girls**

**These Things I Know**

**A/N:** I admit. I'm a sucker for spoilers so I've read what's going to happen in season six and all I can say is OMG! I cannot wait and yet, I have to because the rest of Australia hasn't even seen all of season five. Amen for friends, Amazon and DVD box sets! Happy reading! Genevra.

**Summary:** You might finally have what you thought you always wanted but the truth is this- you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls in anyway.

* * *

**Chapter Twelve:** Diamonds

* * *

Rory breathed in the scent deeply. It was a mixture of rose essential oils and lavender bath gel. She swished her legs around the silky water and sighed blissfully. A rose petal brushed across her stomach and she jumped before she realized what it was. A candle flickered from the sudden movement but it stayed lit.

It had to be close to 7.30 and time to get ready to meet Finn's new girl but she was so relaxed and the room was so peaceful, she didn't ever want to leave. The idea of spending an evening with Logan and her old friends made the idea of leaving the sanctuary she had created more alluring but it was not enough to make her leave quite yet.

Rory relaxed and let the water swish all over her body. She contemplated getting out again but changed her mind. She closed her eyes but they fluttered open quickly when a soft knock came at the door.

"Yes," Rory called.

"It's 7.30," Marta yelled back.

"Thanks, Mart," Rory sighed. She waited until Marta's footsteps had faded and the bedroom door had been closed before she hopped out of the bath. She towel-dried herself carefully and put on her underwear and a navy blue silk robe before she blew out the candles and turned on the bathroom light. She was an expert at getting ready in short amounts of time. Her make-up was light, fresh and done in a flash. She pulled on her dark-blue knee-length dress, leaving the back un-done, as she couldn't reach the zip. She sat on the edge of her bed and buckled up her silver Manolo Blahnik sandals before adding diamond studs and the tennis bracelet Logan had given her two Valentine's Day's ago.

She looked in the mirror of the bathroom and decided something wasn't quite right. She added another coat of mascara and then surveyed her outfit. She yanked the blue dress off and stalked to the cupboard. She pulled out a red spaghetti-strap dress with a plunging neckline. It was made out of the finest silk and it felt like butter on her skin. She quickly changed into it and ran back into the bathroom, her heels clicking on the tiles. Again, she wasn't entirely impressed with it so she pulled it off and pulled on a flimsy dark-green chiffon slip dress but it didn't go with the heels but she could change them. She sighed and walked into the bathroom to do her hair but she noticed a small tear in the fabric. She grunted and walked back to the cupboard and pulled out a little black dress. She shrugged and went into the bathroom to fix her hair. As she brushed her hair and put in a product to hold the soft waves and another to make it glossy, Logan walked in.

"You ready, Ace?" he called.

"No!" she yelled back. "I need help."

He walked in and they greeted each other with a kiss.

"Hey," he said, looking down into her face.

"Hey," she replied.

"What can I do?" he asked.

"Zip!" she ordered. He tugged on the zip but it wouldn't budge. She sucked in and he tried again but that wasn't the problem and it would still not move. "Damn!"

"Sorry, Ace."

"What am I going to wear?" she cried.

"What's wrong with the red one?" he asked, seeing it in a pile on the floor.

"I think it has a stain on it," she moaned.

"Well, no wonder with the way you treat it," he replied. He scooped it up off the floor as she preened with her hair and he explored it. "No stain, Ace."

"Fine," she yelled, yanking it out of her hands. She pulled the black dress off, careful not to slip in her heels, and stripped down to her underwear.

"Nice view, Ace," Logan said, wolf-whistling at her.

"We don't have time for this," she argued. She turned around and let Logan zip her up.

"You look beautiful," he murmured.

He kept his hand on her neck for a moment and bent down to kiss the soft flesh at the nape of her neck. She sighed and her eyes fluttered closed as he moved a hand down the back of her dress and around her neck. She leaned into him.

"We have to go," she said softly.

"No, we don't," he whispered, trailing kisses across the back of her neck. He felt her weakening.

"Yes, we do," she whimpered. "Finn and the others. They're waiting."

"So they can wait a little longer," he frowned.

"Have you not seen Finn when he's hungry?" Rory asked.

"Ace…"

"Logan…"

She pulled reluctantly away and scooped the discarded dresses off the floor. She walked out of the bathroom leaving Logan standing alone. He followed her and surveyed the contents of her wardrobe.

"You should wear this to the Christmas party," he said, pulling out a black dress. The dress had a silk bodice and a shiny tulle skirt that stopped just below her knees. A tiny black belt with a cluster of diamantes sat just under the bust-line.

"Maybe I will," she said, turning to him. She quickly shoved the necessities into an impossibly tiny red handbag that matched her dress.

"You really should. It's my second favourite dress on you," he said. "You look gorgeous in it."

"As opposed to the gorgeous I look now?" she teased. "What's your favourite dress?"

"The one you have on now," he replied as she quickly corrected her side-part and changed her diamond studs to thin silver curls that hung halfway down her neck.

"Logan, I'm not going to change my mind," she said. "We're going to dinner no matter how much you flatter me."

"Rats," he sighed, coining her much-used expression. She wrinkled her nose up at him but smiled anyway.

"You ready, Huntzberger, or do I have to go myself?" she asked, leaving the bedroom.

"Hey, I take less time to get ready than you do," he proclaimed as they exited the apartment. Rory waited until she had locked the door before she replied.

"Now, we both know that's not true," she replied. "I seem to recall sitting in the car before out engagement party waiting for you."

"Come on," he said, as they slid into the lift. "That's hardly fair. You started getting ready hours before me."

"Oh, I did not," she cried. "You're just jealous because it takes me less time to be prettier than you."

"I liked it better when we weren't talking," he said, turning away.

"You don't mean that," she gasped, hitting him with her bag. He threw his arms around her waist and pulled her into him. She looked up at him and they kissed.

"You're right. I don't."

-

"Rory!" Stephanie squealed, getting up to hug her friend. Stephanie's perfume immediately overwhelmed Rory but it was a smell she didn't mind. "I am so glad you're here."

Rory and Logan took their seats after greeting their friends.

"Rory, this is Kate," Finn announced proudly, motioning to a petite redhead with sparkling blue eyes. She smiled at Rory, her teeth a blinding white. "Kate, this is Rory, Logan's Huntzberger and my best friend."

"Aww, how sweet. I'm your best friend," Rory cooed.

"I meant to say one of, love," he replied. Rory poked her tongue out at him and turned to the girl. She held out her hand and Kate took it.

"It's lovely to meet you, Kate," she replied.

"You too," Kate smiled. She caught sight of the bracelet around Rory's wrist and she gasped. "Oh my gosh. That thing is beautiful. It must have cost a fortune."

"Thanks," Rory replied. "It was a gift from Logan."

"Finn, when are you going to start buying me pretty jewelry?" she asked, her eyes shining. Rory and Stephanie exchanged glances but listened to see what Finn's answer would be.

"In time, babe," he replied. "Diamonds should not be brought just for the fun of it."

"But they are purdy," Stephanie chimed in. Kate pouted.

"He's right, sweetheart," Logan added. "Diamonds are worth so much more if they're special."

"Let me guess," Kate smirked. "You pulled some big Nora and Delia Ephron move to get that bracelet to her."

"There is nothing wrong with Nora Ephron moves," he shot back, his face a mix of pure anger and incredulity. "They are incredibly romantic."

"And completely unsubtle and over done," she replied. "I mean, really, what's romantic about a guy doing something that every other guy has already done?"

"In Logan's defense," Rory piped up, exchanging another glance with Stephanie. "Logan has done some pretty romantic, non-Nora Ephron things."

"Yeah?" Kate replied. "Name one."

"Coffee cart, anyone?" she asked the table. Colin, Finn and Stephanie laughed as Logan fumed and Kate looked on in confusion. She glanced over at the girl. "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess you just had to be there."

"She's a feisty one," Colin told Finn when Kate excused herself to the bathroom.

"I'll say," Logan replied, still angry.

"Do her parents have money?" Rory asked, realizing how shallow she sounded. It felt so good to be back where she belonged.

"A bit. Not Gilmore-esque. Certainly not Huntzberger-esque," Finn replied.

"So you'll be marrying her within a year?" Rory continued.

"Not if I can help it," Colin answered.

"With someone like her, you'd better get an ironclad pre-nup," Logan said.

"Guys, guys," Stephanie said, holding up her hands. "Maybe we should continue this when the threat of the girl returning isn't hanging over our shoulders."

"Were you always so smart, Gorilla Girl?" Rory asked.

"Oh, there's that pretty nickname again," Stephanie smirked. "I went to the same college as you, sweetheart."

"Did you guys all go to school together?" Kate asked, settling back down. She immediately latched herself onto Finn, sitting as close as she possibly could. She put an arm around his waist and the other one, she lay across his arm so her hand was on top of his.

"We all went to Yale," Logan answered. "But Finn, Colin, Stephanie and I knew each other way before that."

"That's why you all have the same moves," she answered. "I should have known. The Rat Pack, hey?"

"The Swingtown Lads, actually," Logan replied, bitterly.

"U-huh," Kate said, raising an eyebrow. "You're the leader of the pack. Your wife has the biggest ring and the most class. I should have known."

"Whoa," Rory called out. "Back up, Lolita."

"I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?" she asked, innocently.

"It's fine, Rory," Stephanie replied. "She's just jealous because we actually have rings."

The three women engaged in a stare-off and Kate eventually looked away.

"Let's just order, shall we?" Colin said, quickly jumping in before things got worse. There was an argument over what to order but it was quickly settled.

"You girls actually eat?" Kate asked, in shock.

"We're married," Stephanie replied. "We can afford to eat."

"Actually, Stephanie and Rory are champion eaters but neither of them can beat Lorelai," Finn replied.

"Lorelai?" Kate asked, screwing up her nose.

"My mother," Rory replied. "She has a metabolism the speed of a hummingbird."

The food was delivered quickly and speedily. Rory looked down at her plate and motioned to Kate.

"You really should try some of the chicken," she replied. "It's good."

"I'll stick with my salad," she refused.

"That's they way, honey," Finn joked. "Keep Daddy happy."

Kate looked at him defiantly and turned to Rory.

"On second thoughts, I think I will," she declared.

The night went on and as Kate got over her nervousness, she actually became a nicer person and began to fit in slightly more. It became an enjoyable event and Rory almost didn't want to leave.

"Oh, shoot!" she cried. "It's one o'clock."

"So?" everyone asked.

"I have to work in the morning," she explained.

"Take the morning off, Ace," Logan said.

"I can't," she replied. "Final copies have to be in by noon for tomorrow's bumper issue. I cant have my first big project failing."

"Wait," Kate said. "You have a job?"

"A very big job," Rory moaned.

"She's features editor at the New York Times," Logan said, a mixture of pride and grief in his voice.

"But you work?" Kate asked again.

"Believe me, Kate, I've done everything I can to talk her out of it but she insists," Stephanie said, leaning over the table.

"I'm proud of her," Finn exclaimed. "I think what you're doing is very admirable."

"Thank you," she replied, wryly. Logan stood up and helped her out of her seat.

"I should take the lovely Ace home," he said, flinging some money onto the table. "This should cover our part of the bill."

"Good night, Rory," Colin called.

"I'll call you tomorrow and we'll do lunch or something," Stephanie said, standing to give her another hug.

"Sounds good. Night, new best friend. Night, Kate. It was lovely to meet you," she smiled politely.

"Good night, love," Finn replied. "Don't keep our boy up too late."

"Finn," Kate cried, slapping him playfully. She smiled at Logan and Rory. "It was lovely to meet you both."

They left the restaurant quickly and piled into the limo. They were quiet on the ride home, just happy to be there, sitting with each other.

"So, that was fun," Logan remarked as Rory unlocked the myriad of locks on the front door.

"That's one word for it, Mr. Nora Ephron," she smiled. She opened the door and let him in.

"I'd just like to say that not one of those ideas came from anywhere else but my heart," he murmured.

"Sure," she winked. "I know that your Mum and Nora are close as close can be."

"Didn't you think they were romantic?" he pouted.

"Of course they were," she replied. "And very expensive. Loved the diamond speech by the way."

"It's true," he said. he leant against the doorjamb. "I should let you get some sleep."

"Yeah," she agreed, reluctantly. She leaned forwards and kissed him. "Thank you for a good night."

"Anytime, Ace," he replied. He kissed her again. "So, I'll pick you up at 8 on Sunday."

"Sounds great," she replied. "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," he sighed.

"Meanie," she shot-back. They kissed again and Logan finally pulled away.

"Good night, Ace."

"Good night, Logan."

He tipped his imaginary hat and walked away. She watched him as he walked to the lift. The doors opened almost immediately and he turned to her. He kissed two fingers and blew at her. She smiled and closed the door.

It had been a good night.


	13. Got

**Gilmore Girls**

**These Things I Know**

**A/N:** Happy reading! Genevra.

**Summary:** You might finally have what you thought you always wanted but the truth is this- you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls in anyway.

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen:** Got

* * *

Logan inhaled deeply and braced himself before he exited the lift. He walked out and spotted Marta pacing the hallway.

"Marta?" he called, tentatively. Her head snapped up and her eyes widened in fear. "What's going on?"

"Mr. Huntzberger," she said, quickly. "Rory's not taking any visitors at the moment.

Logan walked closer to the door and he heard Rory yelling furiously.

"I think she'll see me," Logan said, holding his hand out for they key. Marta glanced at him warily and he sighed. "I said I think she'll see me, Marta."

Marta reluctantly gave Logan the key. He unlocked the door and pushed it open slightly so he could hear what was happening.

"Dean, just leave! I don't even know how you found the place," Rory yelled.

"Maybe you should talk to your secretary about giving out personal details even to old friends," Dean snarled back. Logan paused and then threw the door open loudly.

"Honey, I'm home. It's our last night in New York and I thought…" he called, coming into the living room. Rory rushed over to him, her face tear-stained, and threw herself into his arms. "Rory, what's going on?"

"He just came and he won't leave and he just keeps yelling and yelling and he won't listen to me," she sobbed. He kissed her forehead and tightened her terry-clothe robe around her waist.

"You okay?" he asked her, smoothing her hair back.

"I'm fine," she whispered. She pulled away from him. "Logan, just make him leave."

"You have to leave, buddy," Logan said, standing with one arm protectively swung around Rory's shoulder.

"I'm not your buddy, _buddy_," Dean hissed. "And I'm not leaving until Rory admits that she loves me and she's only with you for your money."

"What is it going to take for you to listen?" Rory cried. "I don't love you. I haven't loved you for a very long time."

"I don't believe you," he shot-back.

"Well, you should," Logan replied. "Who's bed is she sleeping in every night?"

"Not yours," Dean answered. Rory looked up in shock. "Oh, don't look all innocent. I know all about the separate living arrangements. That's not a healthy marriage."

"What would you know about healthy marriages?" Rory asked. Dean glared at her and she fought the urge to smile triumphantly. "Look, Dean, leave now before Logan gets angry and beats you up."

"Ooh, I'm scared," Dean mocked.

"Dean, leave now or I swear you'll be escorted out by the paramedics and it won't be because of Logan, it'll be because of me," she replied.

"Again, how about actually threatening me with something scary?" he shot-back.

"How can you be so dense?" Rory cried. "Damn!"

"Dense? I'm dense?" Dean replied. "You are here with a man who says he loves you but he didn't fight for you. I fought for you and I continue to fight for you every single day."

"Well, maybe you should stop," Logan said, rushing to his wife's defense. "She doesn't want you to fight for her."

"Someone has too," Dean shot-back. "Why didn't you fight for her? Huh?"

"It's called pride," Rory answered calmly. "Something you obviously don't have."

"That's rich," he replied. "Coming from a girl who slunk back to her husband with her tail between her legs."

"This is pointless," Rory sighed.

"I'm not leaving here without you," he told her.

"I'm not leaving with you," she replied. "So I hope you enjoy bread and water because that is all I'll be serving."

"Come home with me, Rory," he pleaded, trying a new tactic.

"In case you hadn't noticed, Carpenter Boy," Logan piped up. "She doesn't want to leave with you."

"Why don't we let her speak for herself, Reporter Boy?" Dean shot-back. Logan fought the urge to roll his eyes. "This is between me and her. Only. It has nothing to do with you."

"She is my wife," Logan replied. "It has everything to do with me."

"And I have been speaking for myself," Rory added. "And I have been telling you, I don't want to come home with you."

"Rory, I love you," he cried.

"Pathetic," Rory spat. "You're pathetic."

"You love me. We could be happy together."

"Have you not listened to a word I've said?" she cried, in anger. "I don't love you."

"You do!" Dean yelled.

"You have a weird perception of love then," Rory replied, softly. "If you think I love you."

"Who do you love then? This turtle-neck wearing faggot?" Dean snarled.

"Yes. I love the turtle-neck wearing faggot," Rory replied, dryly. "Look, this is getting old. Can we just get it over and done with?"

"Hang on, you're really not leaving with me?" he asked. Rory groaned in frustration and banged her head against the wall.

"I don't know how to make it clearer to you!" she screamed, throwing her arms up in the air. "I love Logan and I will never leave him again. Not for you. Not for anybody!"

"So, that's it then?" he asked.

"That's it," she replied, slipping her hand into Logan's. Logan didn't respond and it threw Rory for a moment but she quickly recovered. "It should take you four seconds to walk to the door. I'll give you too."

"Quoting Breakfast at Tiffany's. Cute," Logan whispered. He pulled his hand from Rory's and waved at Dean, raising his voice. "Bye, Dean."

Dean swore and spun around on his heel. He opened the door before he turned around.

"If you think this is over," he hissed.

"It's over," Logan said with finality and fierceness in his voice. Something in him visibly changed and he became fiercely protective of Rory. "And I swear to you, if you ever touch her, if you ever come here again, if you so much as think about her, you will regret it. I mean it. Nobody hurts my wife."

Dean swore again and slammed the door behind him. They heard him uttering a string of curses as he walked down the hallway.

"What was that all about?" Logan asked, when he left. He immediately distanced himself from Rory and she frowned slightly before launching into a detailed description.

"I came out of the bathroom and he was sitting in my lounge room and he started yelling at me and spouting all this crap and telling me how he cant live without me and how I said I was fine living without him because I had you and then he-"

"Whoa, Ace. Slow down and take a breath," he calmed her. She breathed in deeply and he sat her on the couch.

"If you knew there was going to be this much drama when you married me, would you have still done it?" she asked.

"I did know there would be this much drama," he replied, the first smile of the evening appearing on his lips. "Everybody warned me that this is what happens when you get involved with Gilmore girls. People I didn't even know warned me."

"But you did it anyway," she whispered.

"What they also told me was that when you fall in love with a Gilmore, you fall fast and you fall hard," he told her. "So before you ask, yes, I'd do it again."

"I bet this isn't what you had in mind when you came over, huh?" she asked.

"Not exactly. It's our last night in New York and the plan was to whisk you out for a romantic dinner just you, me, Colin, Finn and Stephanie."

"No red-head?"

"No red-head," he replied. They were quiet for a moment.

"It's never going to be over, is it?" she asked.

"I thought it was but then I came here and I saw him and I saw the way he looked at you and he isn't going to give up," Logan replied, wishing he could lie to her and tell her it was going to be alright but knowing he couldn't. His Ace hated bull-crap. She nodded sadly.

"I'm sick of saying I'm sorry," she said, letting her head drop into her hands. "But I never stop feeling it. I am sorry. You didn't deserve this. It's not your battle and I shouldn't have dragged you into it."

"You didn't," he replied. "I walked into it and I walked gladly into it. You think I'm going to let you stand here and be crucified? I love you and I'll gladly go to battle for you any day."

"That's why I love you," she sighed. "Because even though I've screwed up and I'm not perfect, you still love me."

"You're an addiction," he admitted. He checked his watch. "We can still make dinner if you want to go."

"No, thanks," she said. "I'm not much for company tonight but you should go."

"Ace," he started.

"No, really. I'm fine," she smiled bravely. "I just want to crash. I'll be okay, I promise."

"I'll call you in the morning," he finally agreed, kissing the side of her head.

"Okay," she agreed. She pulled him close and kissed him. "You're my hero."

"You're only saying that because you want to see me in tights," he informed her.

"I said hero, not superhero," she intoned. He smiled at her.

"Come home with me, Rory."

"I cant, Logan. It's... It's just too soon. We were going to take this slow. We agreed on that," she said, feeling drained.

"Come home with me, Rory," he repeated.

"I can't come home with you, Logan," she said, sadly. "And you know it."

"But Rory…"

"I'm doing this for us," she said. "We need time to heal."

"How can it be for us when we're apart?" he snapped.

"I didn't write the rules," Rory cried, brokenly. "But I know they can't be broken."

"Rules were made to be broken," he replied.

"Not these one," she whispered. She looked up at him. "I want nothing more than to be with you. I want nothing more that for it to go back to the way it was but we cant. Not like this."

Logan stood up and nodded.

"Logan…" she pleaded.

"It's fine. I understand really. You're right. It is too soon," he replied.

"Do you really understand?" she asked. "I don't want you to think it's about Dean because it's not."

"Night, Ace," he whispered, refusing to answer her. He walked slowly to the door and let himself out without turning around. Rory stayed curled up on the couch, tears dripping down her face.

What a mess.

-

"I heard what happened," Stephanie said, appearing in the doorway.

"Steph?" Rory asked, sitting up in bed. She paused the DVD she was seeing but not watching and looked up groggily.

"I bought re-enforcements," Stephanie said, bouncing over to the bed. She climbed in next to Rory and handed her a tub of Rocky Road ice cream and a packet of plastic spoons.

"I hate Rocky Road," Rory exclaimed.

"I know that. This one's for me," Stephanie replied, pulling a second tub out from behind her back. Rory grabbed it greedily and opened it. She shoved a mouthful into her mouth and sighed blissfully.

"That is good," she murmured.

"I agree," Stephanie replied. "So, what trashy Lorelai/Rory flick are we watching?"

"Empire Records," Rory replied, not taking any offense at her friends' words.

"Plaid skirts and fishnets?" Stephanie mumbled through her mouthful. "Classy."

"You don't know the half of it," Rory laughed. They watched the rest of the movie and Stephanie laughed as Rory recited the words.

"You're a classic," she giggled when the movie ended. Rory shrugged and twirled her spoon around the now melted ice cream. "You want to talk about it?"

"Not much to talk about. Dean came, we fought, Logan came, we fought some more, Dean left, Logan stayed and we fought then Logan left and now you're here," Rory answered.

"Wow. You sure have the talent of description," Stephanie replied sarcastically.

"I don't want to talk about it," Rory admitted. "Hey, I forgot to ask. Where's the redhead? Aren't you supposed to be playing hostess?""

"Kate has friends in New York and Finn's credit card. She is perfectly capable of entertaining herself."

"What do you think of her?" Rory asked. Stephanie thought about it for a second.

"Controlling. Manipulative," she replied honestly. "You?"

"Gold-digger," Rory replied.

"Bitch," the both giggled together.

"Match made in Heaven?" Stephanie asked.

"Definitely," Rory agreed.

"I thought Logan was going to deck her when she started talking about Nora Ephron," Stephanie laughed.

"So did I," Rory smirked. They drifted into silence. "Steph, are you and Colin happy?"

"Happy?" Stephanie mused. "We have our moments but for the most part, we're happy. I mean, I don't suppose we're any less happy than the average Joe."

"Yeah," Rory murmured. "That's what I thought."

"You're going to call him, aren't you?" Stephanie asked.

"No," Rory replied too quickly. Stephanie's scrutinizing gaze wore her down. "So maybe I was contemplating it."

"Well, when you do, can you ask him to tell Colin that I'm staying here tonight?" she asked. "This bed is the comfiest bed I have ever slept in."

"Well, I'm not calling him," Rory replied, switching off the TV and the lamp. "But you are right. The bed is comfy."

-

"I mean, the nerve of the guy," Logan spat. "Coming into her apartment and saying all those things. And in front of me! I'm her husband. Does the guy have a death wish?"

"He must," Colin replied, patting Logan on the back. Logan took a sip of his scotch.

"And the nerve of her, saying she's only thinking of us by not coming home," he sighed.

"I know you don't want to here this but Rory's doing the right thing," Colin told him.

"You're right, I don't want to hear it," he exclaimed, twiddling his pool cue around. "Who's up?"

"You are," Finn announced. He waited until Logan had set-up his shot and was about to hit before he spoke. "You know, she might have said otherwise but Rory wanted you to stay tonight. And she really does want to come home with you."

Logan flinched and messed up his shot. He swore and glared at Finn who simply shrugged and grinned.

"It's true, mate," he said. "Isn't it, Colin McCray?"

"It's true," Colin agreed. Logan looked at him darkly but he shrugged. "I'm sorry but the man does have a point. Even an idiot would have seen through that."

"Remind me why I'm friends with you two," he muttered.

"I believe it's because we bail you out in trouble times. Or maybe it's because we're charming, dashing and debonair. Or maybe it's because we're irresistible. We're sort of like smooth, chocolatey, chocolate covered in a crisp sugar shell," Finn cried. "Enough is never enough and too much is never a bad thing. You cant live without us. We're lovable."

"You're comparing yourself to M&M's?" Logan asked incredulously.

"Hey, we melt in your mouth, not your hands," Colin said, before thinking. Logan and Finn cracked up and Colin turned red when he realized what he'd alluded too.

"Colin, I love you, mate but that was an over-share," Finn laughed.

"Wait until the guys hear about this," Logan added. "You know, I have to admit, I always wondered why you loved M&M's. Wishful thinking, huh?"

"Shut up," he muttered, sculling the rest of his drink. "Next round's on you, Hunt."

-

Rory couldn't sleep. She heard Stephanie murmur something beside her and she sighed. She jumped out of bed and went into the living room. She picked up the phone and dialed a number that was so familiar, she did it with her eyes closed.

"Hello," he picked up.

"Hey," she said quietly. "Where are you? I'm coming to pick you up."

She knew, instinctively, he would be at a bar, drowning and downing scotch and playing pool with Colin and Finn, as always. While it wasn't true that Stephanie didn't care about things like love, just jewellery, fast cars and how to get her name higher on the waiting list for the next Hermes of Balenciaga bag, it also wasn't true that she expected Colin there at her beckon call 24/7. She trusted him enough to go out with the boys and when Rory and Logan had been 'properly' married, she had been the same. In fact, they had often spent the nights when the boys went out together or with their other friends.

He told her the place and she smiled. Again, she had just known. He never went to another bar in New York. She walked back to the bedroom, pulled on jeans, a shirt and a coat, grabbed her keys, wallet and cell and left the house.

She drove the crowded streets of New York City and when she got outside she called him.

"I'm outside," she said. "In the Porsche."

"I'll be right there," he replied. She waited patiently for him to gather his things, say goodbye to the boys and make his way to the car.

"Hey," he said, getting into the car. They kissed quickly and Rory pulled away. She drove for a while and parked under the Brooklyn Bridge where they sat, watching the moons rays dance across the water.

"About tonight," she started.

"We knew it wasn't going to be easy when we signed on for this," Logan said quietly.

"I know but I made it harder," she admitted. Logan said nothing but she instinctively knew he agreed. She unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to him. "Are we going to make it?"

He was silent as he contemplated it but after a while, he turned to her and smiled.

"Of course we're going to make it. If there's one thing I know, it's this. Love is enough and believe me, we have love."

"And if there's one thing I know, it's that you don't know what you have 'til it's gone and what you think you want isn't what you want at all," she sighed. "I thought I didn't want you and that I wanted a house in the suburbs, a white picket fence, a dog but when I was without you, I realized it wasn't what I wanted at all. What I wanted was you, all along. All I needed was you, all along. I still want those things but I want them with you."

"You can have them with me," he replied. He cupped her chin and kissed her. "Anything you want, you can have it."

"I have what I want right here," she whispered.


	14. White

**Gilmore Girls**

**These Things I Know**

**A/N:** I admit. I'm a sucker for spoilers so I've read what's going to happen in season six and all I can say is OMG! I cannot wait and yet, I have to because the rest of Australia hasn't even seen all of season five. Amen for friends, Amazon and DVD box sets! Happy reading! Genevra.

**Summary:** You might finally have what you thought you always wanted but the truth is this- you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls in anyway.

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen:** White

* * *

Rory drove to the motel were Logan was staying and parked outside. They sat in silence until she turned to him.

"Maybe after Christmas," she said.

"After Christmas what?" he asked.

"Okay, not maybe, definitely. After Christmas, I want to come home," she said quickly, before she lost her nerve.

"You mean it?" he asked.

"I mean it," she replied. He leaned over and kissed her, hard. She smiled and inhaled nervously. She knew his game. He wouldn't make a move or tell her how he felt until he was good and ready and sure she was petrified.

"Thanks for picking me up," he smiled.

"Anytime," she replied.

"I'll see you Sunday," he said. "Eight o'clock."

"I'll be there," she smiled. He kissed her cheek and got out of the car.

"I can't wait 'til Christmas is over."

-

"Okay, so when you've finished hyperventilating, maybe you can tell me exactly what we're doing here," Lorelai said. Rory turned to her with a panicked look on her face.

"Are you serious?" she cried back. She motioned around the store with her hand. "It's my anniversary tonight and I have nothing! Nothing. I don't even have any idea. Why are we here? I swear, Mum."

"You sound like your grandmother," Lorelai remarked.

"Ugh!" Rory groaned.

"Okay, anniversary tonight and you need a present for Logan so we are in a lingerie store why?" Lorelai asked. She paused and shook her head. "Forget I even asked. What it wrong with me? If anyone should have known the answer to that, it should have been me."

"It's a silly tradition Logan and I have," Rory sighed, fumbling through a rack. "I don't even know if he'll remember."

"Honey, I know I'm your mother and you probably don't want to talk about this with me but if you have to make 'it' a tradition, you have more serious problems than the fact you cheated on him," Lorelai told her gravely. "And if you think Logan, a male, has forgotten, you have even more problems."

"It?" Rory smiled pausing. Lorelai sighed and lowered her voice.

"I didn't want to say sex in front of all these people," she admitted. Rory widened her eyes and continued to rifle through the rack. "I've gone soft in my old age."

"You're cute," Rory laughed. "And besides, 'it' isn't the tradition."

"Whoa. I am mortally wounded," Lorelai cried dramatically. She clutched one hand to her chest and fanned her face with the other. "I believe the words 'you are not old' should have been the last words to leave your mouth."

"You aren't old," Rory replied. "But that isn't what I meant to say. What do you think Logan is getting me?"

"Diamonds," Lorelai answered automatically. "Oh, to have money."

"Brazzlefrat. That's what I was afraid of," Rory sighed. She pulled out a cream and gold set with delicate gold embroidery and smiled. "This is it."

"What is this tradition you and Loges have?" Lorelai asked as Rory paid for her purchases.

"We have to buy what we want, what we think the other person might buy us and a proper present," Rory explained. "I thought Logan might buy my lingerie, I already have a Barnes & Noble gift certificate and a diamond encrusted 'R' charm because it's what I wanted and now I just need to buy something for him."

"Oh, the pitfalls of being rich," Lorelai exclaimed sarcastically. "Now I know why rich people have everything. Three anniversary presents? I'd love to see your house at Christmas."

"Hey, I think it's fun," Rory argued.

"I know, honey, but you're rich," Lorelai reminded her.

"Hmm. That's true," Rory agreed. They walked out of the store and onto State Street.

"So, what are you going to get Logan?" Lorelai asked.

"Don't know. Coffee?"

"Using coffee as a means of avoidance, hey?" Lorelai asked. "I knew I raised you right."

They made their way to a café and sat down. Their coffees came quickly and were guzzled down.

"I have no idea of what to get him," Rory groaned. "Every idea I have seems so impersonal. I thought about a watch but he already has six and it seems so unoriginal. I need to give him something no one else can give him."

"How about a baby?" Lorelai asked. She continued before Rory could protest. "Come on! How cute would it be? A tiny Logan or Rory. I know, you could call it Rogan. Or Lory."

"I'm not sure what your mother told you about babies but it's going to be impossible to get impregnated and pop one out by tonight," Rory sighed.

"Humph," Lorelai pouted. "I want a grand-child."

"Well, have another child," Rory shot-back.

"You're mean."

"And you're not helping," Rory countered. "Mum, seriously. What am I supposed to get Logan?"

"I don't know. I'm not his wife. Maybe you should buy some goldfish," Lorelai suggested. "It's sweet and romantic. You can call them Logan and Rory. Better yet, you're rich. Buy him a whole aquarium. Or a museum."

"Finn got us goldfish for out wedding," Rory reminded her. She groaned and rested her cheek on the table. "I'm never going to think of anything."

"I'm sorry to ask, honey, but why did you only start thinking about this now?" Lorelai asked.

"I didn't. I've been trying to think of something all week," she protested. "I just have no idea."

"I think you're thinking too hard about it," Lorelai said. "I think you're thinking too big. Sky-writers and lights on buildings like in Sleepless in Seattle. Logan likes giving you that sort of thing but he doesn't like it for himself. Even redecorating his study is too big. And don't even think about touching the games room."

"I wasn't," Rory pouted. Lorelai looked at her and she sighed. "I guess you're right. Touching the games room is a bad idea but there is this really nice pool table…"

"You never, ever touch a man's pool table," Lorelai chastised her. "Did Mummy teach you nothing?"

"Nothing practical," Rory replied. Lorelai gaped at her and she smiled innocently before looking at her watch. "I'd better go. Frank's waiting for me."

"But we haven't thought of anything yet," Lorelai cried.

"I know but if I don't leave soon, I might not even make it back in time and there will be no anniversary dinner," she replied. She stood up and kissed her mother's cheek. "I love you."

"You too," Lorelai replied. "You'll call me if you think of anything?"

"Of course," Rory replied. "You'll be the first place."

-

Rory walked into her house and gasped. Every conceivable place was covered in flowers of all different kinds. Gardenias, tulips, daisies, Oriental lilies, roses, gerberas, lisanthus. Every available space had a different type of flower on it.

A smile spread across her face as she walked through the room and smelt the flowers. She flicked the stereo on her their wedding waltz came through the speakers. She danced around the room, knowing she probably looked like an idiot, but not caring. She could feel the tulle pressing against her legs and could feel, could smell, could hear Logan against her, breathing into her and whispering sweet nothings.

Suddenly, an idea came into her head. She was going to relive her favourite moment with him. A moment just after they had been married and they thought they were invincible. A moment where they were so in love with each other that nothing else mattered and nothing else registered.

"Marta!" she yelled. The young blonde came into the room. "I need your help. It's important."

She gave the blonde maid a list of things to do before she picked up the phone and dialed her New Haven house's number.

"Marisa, it's Rory," she said, breathlessly. "I need you to do me a favour…"

She just hoped Logan would appreciate it.

-

"Relax, man. It's going to be fine," Colin comforted Logan.

"Yeah, and the place looks perfect," Stephanie agreed.

"Exactly like before?" Logan asked in a panic.

"Except for the fact there's only ten people, one table and it isn't a snow covered marquee…" Colin began but Stephanie interrupted.

"It's exactly like before," she answered. She smoothed Logan's black tie and wiped a piece of imaginary lint off his lapel. "Now, would you go and get her already?"

"What if she doesn't like it?" Logan asked. Finn came over and joined them.

"I think you'll be surprised," he answered. "Just how much she will like it."

"What makes you say that?" Colin asked, knowing his friend was hiding something.

"Let's just sat that the maid's know everything," he said, conspiratorially. "Come, Huntzberger. Let's go and steal the fair maiden away."

"I'm quite capable of stealing the maiden away myself," Logan replied.

"He's quite knight in shining armour," Colin answered, knowingly.

"Go already," Finn cried. "I'm hungry."

-

Rory was putting the finishing touches on her make-up when the door opened. She jumped a mile and narrowly missed leaving a jagged eyeliner mark across her face.

"I thought I told you to know," she said. She looked in the mirror and saw Logan. "Logan! I thought… I mean, you weren't… You weren't supposed to see me in this. Not yet."

"So you did get it?" he asked, leaning against the doorjamb. Rory calmly capped the eyeliner and turned to him.

"What do you mean did I get it?" she asked. "I asked Frank and Marisa to smuggle it up for me."

"Well, I asked them to deliver it to you," Logan answered, trying not to laugh. Rory smiled too.

"I guess that's why Marisa was so confused," Rory smirked. She walked across the room, white tulle rustling with every step. "Great minds think alike, huh, Huntzberger?"

"Guess so, Huntzberger, he replied. She smiled and walked into his arms. They kissed slowly and Rory smiled up at him again. He looked down at her. "Happy anniversary, Ace."

"Happy anniversary, Logan," she whispered. She stepped back and let him take in the white tulle and satin confection. An white silk bodice sat atop a vertical ruffled skirt. The ruffles had reminded Lorelai of a can-can dancer's skirt, though more elegant, and Rory the back of Satine's red dress in Moulin Rouge and she had had to have it. Her hair was pulled up in a delicate twist but on her head was a white silk hat decorated in hundred's of tiny, white sequins. She walked around in a circle, because swirling was too hard, and winked at Logan. "How do I look?"

"You look beautiful," he answered huskily. She smiled and looked away. He stepped towards her and put his arms around her tiny waist. It felt so good to be holding her like this. "I mean it, Ace. I have never seen anyone look more beautiful than you do now."

"It's the bathroom," she shrugged. "It can make anyone look beautiful."

"It's a very nice bathroom," he agreed. "The person who chose it must have very good taste. He's probably handsome as well. and charming. He'd have to be charming."

"Are you quite done?" Rory asked, pushing away. "You're crinkling my dress."

"I just have to add sweet, romantic and sensitive to the list," he added, following her into the bedroom. "And good in bed. Actually, that should have been top of the list."

Rory turned and silenced him with a kiss.

"You are all those things," she agreed. "And I'm lucky to have you."

"I wouldn't go that far," he joked. "Have you seen yourself in that dress? I'm lucky I ever got you to look at me."

"Believe me, I'm lucky," she said. she handed him to wrapped gifts. "This is what you got me for our anniversary."

"I guess this is what you wanted," he said, opening the certificate and necklace. He unwrapped the lingerie. "And this is what you thought I'd buy you. I almost wish I had."

"You get to see me in it anyway," she replied.

"That a promise?" he asked, giving her his two boxes. He kissed her neck and nibbled her ear.

"Hmm," was all she answered. She moved away but let him rest his chin on her shoulder. She opened both gifts and laughed. "I can't believe this. You thought I was going to buy you a watch and you wanted me to buy you a watch?"

"I like watches," he shrugged. "And I only have six. What's so funny?"

"I nearly bought you a watch," she admitted. She looked so beautiful he just had to kiss her again so he did. He pulled her so she was lying in his arms and he kissed her long and hard. She sighed blissfully as the broke apart.

"We have to go," he said.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"I'm going to give you the rest of your present," he answered.

"But I was going to give you the rest of your present," she protested. "We should stay in."

"Rory, I promise you, we can come back here later and you can give me my present," he said, adamantly. "But right now, you're coming with me."

He scooped her up and carried her to the bedroom door before he put her down.

"It's just too hard with the dress," he said. She huffed but followed him out and into the limo.

"So, where are we going?" she asked again as the limo made it's way into the traffic.

"It's a surprise," he told her.

"But I don't like surprises," she pouted.

"You'll like this one," he promised.

"Can't you just tell me?" she prodded.

"Fine," he sighed. "Rory, I am giving you your wedding again."

"You're what?" she asked.

"It's only going to be small. You, me, Finn, Colin, Steph, my parents, Luke, Lorelai, Emily," he said. "But everything is going to be decorated the same. All white with purple napkins and silver candle. Gardenias and lilac lisanthus everywhere. Fluff on the floor instead of snow. It's like a Winter Wonderland."

"You must have had it planned for ages," she said, biting back tears.

"For a while," he shrugged.

"I knew I was doing the right thing when I married you," she smiled.

"You mean the money had nothing to do with it?" he asked. "It was all the romantic gestures?"

"You flatter yourself on both counts," she sighed. "Honey, it was the hair."

-

"What do you think?" Logan asked nervously when they entered. Rory covered her mouth with her hands and tears sprung to her eyes.

"It's beautiful, Logan," she whispered. "It's better than my stupid plan. In fact, I think it's better than my wedding."

"I'm glad you like it," he replied. "I know how much you love the dress and this seemed like the perfect occasion to wear it again."

"I just can't believe it," she whispered. "Thank you."

She kissed him and laughed when she heard Finn wolf-whistle.

"To the bride and groom," he called, holding up his glass. The guests, even Shira and Mitchum who still had yet to understand why Rory and Logan were together, lifted their glasses. They sipped and Finn yelled out again. "Come on! Let's eat. I'm starving."

Rory laughed and took her seat in the middle of the long table. Finn sat across from her.

"So we can play footsies, love," he winked.

"Hey, loser," Logan shot-back. "Back off. She's mine."

-

"You look beautiful, kid," Lorelai said, pulling her into a hug. She repeated the same exchange with Luke.

"I don't know how you managed to keep this a secret from me," Rory exclaimed.

"It wasn't easy, believe me," Luke replied. "And Logan and I only told her about it on Friday."

"You've known since Friday?" Rory asked in surprise.

"I've had my 'I have a secret but I cant tell you so please guess and force it out of me' voice on since then," Lorelai shot-back. "And I practically told you today."

"Well, I'm very proud of you," Rory said. Logan came up beside her and kissed her cheek.

"Finn wants to make a speech," he whispered. "And the sooner we do the speeches, the sooner we can go."

"Okay," she replied. She was having a beautiful night but she wanted to leave as much as he did. She touched him lightly on the shoulder and leaned into him. "Just me let me talk to Grandma and your parents."

"You're actually going to talk to them willingly?" Lorelai gasped. "Have I taught you nothing?"

"As it is, I'm going to have to take my phone off the hook tonight so Grandma doesn't call to see how the caterers were and if I don't talk to them now, who knows what awkwardness could ensue when Grandma turns up at my apartment tonight," Rory answered pointedly.

"I agree with you, Lorelai, but Ace has a point," Logan replied.

"Thank you," she said. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get crucified."

Hang on," Logan said, pulling her back. He pulled her close and kissed her. Luke looked away uncomfortably but Lorelai beamed. Rory blushed slightly as she walked away but she looked happy.

"You two got pretty heavy pretty fast," Lorelai remarked. "What happened to taking it slow?"

"I missed her," Logan answered honestly. "I just wanted it to go back to the way it was. If I hadn't, who knows how long it could have taken."

"You really love her, don't you?" Lorelai asked dreamily.

"Does the Pope have a balcony?" Luke answered for him.

-

"Rory, you look fabulous. Shira, doesn't Rory look magnificent?" Emily asked, swooping down on her.

"You look lovely, Rory," Shira answered. She had never really warmed to Roy and she hadn't wanted to come but she would never miss an event for the world. "I'm surprised your dress still fits. Actually, it looks a little tight."

"Nonsense," Emily piped up. "Ignore her, Rory. She's just jealous because she grew out of her dress years ago."

Shira glared at her but said nothing. Rory sent her grandmother a questioning glance as they walked away.

"I've spent too much time with your mother lately," Emily admitted. "Anyway, I'm glad you finally came to your senses and went back to Logan. You two are perfect for each other. You remind of my and your grandfather. Actually, you remind me of Christopher and Lorelai except you and Logan are actually meant to be together, unlike them. Aren't Luke and your mother a perfect match?"

"What did you just…" Rory stuttered.

"Oh, you heard what I said," Emily replied. "You're grandfather would be sorry he missed this. He sends you his love."

"I love you, Grandma," Rory said, suddenly. She hugged Emily and pulled away. "I'm sorry for not saying it enough."

She turned and walked back to Shira and Mitchum, leaving Emily standing alone, touching the cheek Rory had just kissed.

"Thank you for the party," she smiled. "It's beautiful."

-

"So in closing, I would just like to say that even though it's been a tough year, Logan and Rory are as perfect for each other as they were then," Finn said. "We truly do wish you all the happiness in the world. And what do you know? Our wishes have been answered because you have me as a friend. And you know, if you two ever feel the need for a little extra-curricular activity, you can always call me."

"Sorry but she's much cuter," Logan called back. Logan and Rory smiled at each other, the joke's gravity barely registering.

"I'm wounded," he gasped, falling sidewards. He straightened up and picked up his glass. "I'm sure these two are dying to get home so I'd like to make a toast and who knows when I'll have the chance to say this again but to Logan and Rory. May you live, and love, happily together forever."

"To Logan and Rory," the guests cheered, clinking glasses and taking sips. Logan and Rory linked their wrists together and held the glasses to each other's lips.

"To us," Rory whispered.

"To us," Logan replied.


	15. Irreparable

**Gilmore Girls**

**These Things I Know**

**A/N:** I admit. I'm a sucker for spoilers so I've read what's going to happen in season six and all I can say is OMG! I cannot wait and yet, I have to because the rest of Australia hasn't even seen all of season five. Amen for friends, Amazon and DVD box sets! Happy reading! Genevra.

**Summary:** You might finally have what you thought you always wanted but the truth is this- you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls in anyway.

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen:** Irreparable

* * *

"So, where are going, Ace?" Logan asked. "Back to New Haven? To our honeymoon suite?"

"We are going back to my place," she replied. She turned to him and took his hand. "I know my present isn't quite as good as yours but it means a lot to me."

"What the lady wants, the lady shall have," Logan replied, gallantly kissing her hand. He rapped on the partition and Frank lowered it. "To the apartment please, Frank."

-

Rory and Logan managed to get themselves into the apartment without breaking anything or hurting themselves which was amazing considering the face their faces hadn't been apart and their hands hadn't touched anything but each other. Rory pulled herself away and unlocked the door and moved in sideways.

"Where's Marta?" Logan asked between kisses. He pushed her against the doorjamb.

"I gave her the night off," Rory replied breathlessly.

"Good call, my wife," he answered huskily.

"Mmm," she smiled, easing off the doorway and away from him. She walked backwards and beckoned him with her finger.

"The mouse orders and the lion obeys," he said, walking in. He slammed the door behind him without looking and backed her gently into a cabinet. A vase caught on one of her ruffles and crashed to the ground, sending shards of Waterford crystal to the floor.

"Shit," she murmured. Logan placed a finger on her lips.

"It's okay. We can fix it in the morning," he whispered. He ran his hands up her body and back down again. "This thing you have planned. Can it wait?"

"Nope," she replied, pushing him away. She gazed at him, her lips swollen from the constant pressure of his lips on hers. "I wish."

She switched on the stereo and pulled a champagne bottle from the fridge. Skillfully, she popped the cork and took a long sip.

"Champagne?" she offered. He took the bottle and sipped from it, gazing at her in adoration. "What?"

"You," he replied. She blushed and came over to him, kissing the droplets of champagne off his lips.

"What about me?" she asked.

"Everything," he answered. "Have I told you how much I love you?"

"Not tonight," she replied, as 'Moon River' came onto the stereo. He took her into his arms and they began to waltz awkwardly around the room.

"The room spinning yet, Ace?" he asked, as they swayed.

"Shh," she smiled, kissing him. "Do you remember the first time we danced to this?"

"How could I forget?" he moaned. "I felt like such an idiot. I don't think I could have gotten out of my chair any faster. I thought for sure you would know I was in love with you."

"Well, I didn't. I just knew I had to be the one who took action. My dad and I were talking and he said 'who wouldn't want to be kissed by a Gilmore girl?' and he told me that when my mother kissed him for the first time she said 'I just wanted to know what it would be like.' And I, I just wanted to know what it would be like to kiss the boy I had fallen in love with," she told him. She was so nervous, she was actually shaking.

"You're shaking," he whispered, touching her bare shoulder.

"What was it like?" she asked, ignoring him. They had stopped dancing now and stood, their bodies pressing together. She closed her eyes and steadied herself, forcing herself to calm down. "I have waited three years to ask you."

"It was like this," he answered, cupping her chin and kissing her. She bit her lipped and opened her eyes. "Why the tears? It's our anniversary."

"Come," she said, taking his hand and leading him into the bedroom. She went to her old-fashioned vanity and looked in the mirror. He stood behind her and ran his hands from the nape of her neck down her bare arms. "I need help with the buttons."

Logan bent and kissed her shoulder. His fingers worked the row of pearl buttons that lined her back quickly. When he had undone the last button, Rory hauled the sagging dress around and removed Logan's jacket before unbuttoning his shirt. She kissed his Adam's apple and left the shirt hanging loosely on him.

"What was it like?" she whispered. She stepped out of the dress and stood before him.

"It was the defining moment of my life. I was gone for, before your lips even touched mine. At twenty-two, I was gone for. There was your lips and your body pressed against mine but there was nothing else and I knew there would never be anyone but you again," he replied. He took her hand and led her to the bed. "All I wanted was for that feeling, the feeling that there was only us and everything was all right in the world, to last. When I was with you, and when I am with you, everything gets wiped away and there's only you, there's only me, there's only us. I never wanted anything until you. I didn't need too want. But then I met you and all I want is you."

"I'm right here," she spoke, her voice broken. In his eyes, she could still see the hurt that was there, the hurt that she had caused. Tears came into her eyes again.

"No," he said, touching her lip. "Not tonight. There will no tears. Tonight, there's just us."

She crawled onto the bed next to him and kissed him. She kissed his eyes and cried into his hair. He gently pushed her away and took her face in his hands.

"There's only us."

-

Rory rolled over, away from Logan. She looked at the time on her cell-phone and fought the urge to groan. 4.37 am. She was tired and exhausted. To have Logan there with her, his hands on her, his lips on her had been so overwhelmingly perfect but so not the right way to push everything away, to put everything behind them.

She rolled out of bed and grabbed her silk robe and tiptoed into the bathroom and flicked on the light. The place gleamed as light bounced off white tiles and porcelain. Rory took stock of herself in the mirror. Her hair had become a rat's nest and her make-up had smudged horrendously. She sighed and cupped her hands under the running tap. She splashed her face and let the water run down her face and onto her body. The icy streams made her shiver and gasp. Her face looked worse so turned the faucet off, removed her robe and turned on the shower.

The second the water hit her body, she weakened. She slumped against the glass and began to cry. She held herself up for a few moments before sliding to the floor. She pulled her knees up to her chest and sobbed.

Logan rolled over and reached for his wife. She was gone. He checked the time and sighed. 5.17am. He could hear the shower running and on instinct, he entered the ensuite.

He found Rory, knees to chest, on the shower floor watching the water slip into the drain. She covered her face when she realized he was there, watching her.

"Rory?" he asked, concern completely taking over. Her moved to open the door but she cried out.

"No, Logan. Don't. I didn't want you to see me like this," she cried. He ignored her and joined her on the floor.

"Tell me what's wrong, Ace," he prodded.

"I'm sorry. I've ruined your night," she whispered. "Everything was so perfect."

"Hey, it's morning anyway," he joked weakly.

"I know I shouldn't cry but I felt so bad. I missed you so much when I was gone. I was too busy thinking about myself and how much I was hurting that I didn't even stop to think about you and tonight when we were… it just all clicked into place. I wondered what you were doing with me. You could do so much better, at the very least you could find someone who would be faithful but then I knew. You and I, we belong to each other. We could never be happy with anyone else. I own your heart and you own mine and I felt so bad for taking that heart with me and breaking it, especially when I didn't leave my own behind," she choked. "You have no idea how much I love you and you have no idea how sorry I am. I will never stop. Loving you. Or being sorry."

Logan listened to her silently, impassively. There was no emotion in his voice when he replied.

"I hated you. When you did what you did. I hated you and I didn't miss you. A letter would come for you or someone would call. I'd see you hair or your eyes and I wanted to murder the person for reminding me of you because I was so hurt. I was determined not to fight for you, to be done with you but as soon as I began that, everything changed. I knew I couldn't lose you. That would be the end of me, the end of us. We have something worth fighting for. I knew that then and I know that now," he said. His resolve began to break and choked back his own tears. "Rory, I know you're sorry. I know you love me. You don't need to tell me. I see it everywhere. In your eyes, in your face, in the way you move, in the way you talk, in the way you love me. We thought we were in invincible once but now we know we're not but we can work on putting this behind us. We are not irreparable. After this, after tonight, I don't want to talk about it again. I don't want to think about it. I want to move on and I want to start my life with you again. that's what last night was about. Putting the past behind us and moving on."

Rory was quiet as she watched the waterfall from the shower. She pushed her wet, heavy hair out of her face and leaned against the wall.

"That kiss," she whispered. "At Grandma and Grandpa's wedding, that was the lightning bolt moment for me. That was when I knew that that was it. I knew I was never going to love another man the way I did then and it was true. And I want to start again but the past, Logan, it doesn't go away. It can't just be ignored. It sits there like an elephant in the room. It makes its presence known. I agree. I want to put it behind me but I can. It's part of me. I hate that and I'm not proud of it, but I can't change it."

She sat up and moved as far away from Logan as she could. He didn't want to be touched right now, not by her. He looked so despondent that she just wanted to reach out to him, to take it all back but she couldn't. It would be a lie to tell him she was going to forget the past when she couldn't. She wanted to shoot herself for bringing it up there and then. She had ruined a perfect night, one she could never get back, with her tears and the melodramatic flair she had inherited from her mother.

Logan stood up and turned the faucet off. He let himself out of the shower and grabbed a burgundy towel. He tied it around his waist.

"I'll be in bed if you need me," he said bitterly. He left the room and Rory rested her head on her knees.

She stayed there for a grand total of thirty seconds before she realized, if she didn't want her husband to leave, she had to do something and now. She jumped out of the shower and shoved her silk robe on.

"Logan!" she yelled, catching him as he was slipping through the bedroom drawer. She grabbed him and pulled him close. He didn't resist but he didn't hold her either. "Logan, stay. We aren't invincible but we aren't irreparable either. This can be fixed. I know it can. I'll put it all behind me. The past, everything. I'll never bring it up again, not to you. I promise. I will do anything. I just want…"

"What do you want?" he asked. She let go and looked at him, pleading with her eyes.

"I just want you to stay," she begged. She grabbed his hand. "Let me fix this. Please, Logan."

"I love you, Ace," he gave in. "I don't know why but I do. I can't leave you. I could never leave you before and it's not going to change now but you have to promise me, you will understand that I don't understand why you did what you did but I forgive you. You don't have to feel sorry for it anymore."

"Yes, Logan, yes," she replied. "I promise."

"Good," he said, running his hand down her face. "It's still early and I think the bed is calling our name."

"I think you might be right."


	16. Idyllic

**Gilmore Girls**

**These Things I Know**

**A/N**:This chapter was going to be the end but I decided to add an epilogue which will be up soon. I hope you all don't mind, lol. Happy reading! Genevra.

**Summary:** You might finally have what you thought you always wanted but the truth is this- you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls in anyway.

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen:** Idyllic

* * *

He picked up a folded piece of paper and opened it.

_Logan,_ it read in her simple, impeccably, impossibly neat script. He began to read the next line when Rory walked into the room.

"Logan, where did you move my…" she paused and stopped. "Oh. You found it."

"When did you leave this?" he asked, turning to her. She smiled sheepishly.

"The night I left. I put it in your underwear drawer," she replied. "I thought you'd find it there."

"Should I read it?" he continued.

"I don't suppose it matters now," she shrugged. She walked over and crawled onto the bed so she could lean behind him. She laced her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek awkwardly. "I love you, Logan."

"I love you too, Ace," he replied. He moved so she could swing around and sit on his lap, her arms still around his neck. He pulled her into a deep kiss.

"Logan," she gasped, when they pulled away. "My hairdryer?"

"Your hairdryer?" he chuckled. "We kiss like that and you're thinking about your hairdryer? What happens when you think about your new Jimmy Choos?"

"You're exasperating," she sighed, kissing him quickly. She rolled out of his arms and stood up, straightening her skirt and top. "I just meant that we have to leave in an hour and I haven't done my hair and my hairdryer has gone MIA."

"I still want you to kiss me while you're thinking about your new shoes," he replied.

"They are pretty sexy," she mused, holding her foot out in front of her and inspecting the shoe. She rolled her eyes when she saw Logan's puppy-dog eyes and knelt in front of him. They kissed again and she pulled away. "Better?"

"Better," he said. She smiled and walked into the bathroom. "The letter?"

"Read it alone," she called back. "You know I hate being in the room when people read my stuff. I don't remember everything I wrote in it so be warned. I was very confused."

"I'll be in my study," he replied.

"What?" she yelled, switching on the hairdryer. She shrugged when he didn't reply. She waited for a moment and switched off the hairdryer. She walked into her New Haven bedroom and smiled.

She was so happy to be home. The last two months had been two of the happiest of her life. The past had always been there but it hadn't overshadowed them like she feared it would. She knew they would need to work hard, maybe not now while they were still technically in the honeymoon period, but in the future, they would need to work so hard and be so strong and hold on so tight to each other and to their marriage but it was work that Rory was willing to do. Anything, now that she had her marriage and the love of her life back, anything to keep it together.

-

Logan poured himself a small glass of scotch. He didn't need it but it seemed fitting. Rory was a fan of the cliché and she would be proud. The wronged hero reads the letter from the wronging heroine while drinking scotch and sitting in a wing-backed chair front of a roaring fire.

He loved her. Loved everything about her. He loved having her back at home but even he knew that the idyllic nature of the part two months wouldn't last. But he knew they would get them back again. He knew they would fight. They were both prepared for it, prepared for the inevitable. Prepared to fight temptation, to fight away the past, just simply to fight for their love.

He was strangely looking forward to it. He was looking forward to prove again how much he loved her and how much he was willing to give for her. Everything.

He put down his scotch and opened the letter. It was on Huntzberger stationary. Her personalized stationary. He wondered if she'd even thought of that. If it had ended in divorce and he had of found the letter then, would she have even realized the simple sight of the name 'Lorelai Huntzberger' would have been enough for bile to rise in his throat and despite what the letter could hold, it would have been thrown into the fire? Of course she wouldn't. She wasn't thinking like that. She just wanted to get out.

_Logan,_

_If you've found this, it means I'm gone. As I write this, I am sitting in the room next to you and you have no idea what's going on in here. I like that, that we can trust each other enough to have secrets. I hate that you trust me so much you don't even think to ask where I am when I disappear for hours on end. I hate that I want you to ask. I don't want to tell you where I am because telling you that means telling you I am being unfaithful to you._

_I know it's a cliché, wanting to hurt someone before they hurt you but it's the truest thing I know. I could not stand being hurt by you. I could not stand walking in on you and some cocktail waitress or flight attendant. I guess I just figured that you would never even consider the fact that I might cheat on you and that's why every time I do it, I feel less like I'm hurting you and more like I'm hurting myself._

_This is so hard. I know it shouldn't be. I am choosing to do this, I am choosing to write this. I don't deserve the liberty of being allowed to cry. I don't deserve to be allowed to breakdown. I deserve nothing. I am despicable. A scarlet woman. The scum of society. What is even worse is that you have no idea and if I choose not too, you never have to se this and I never have to leave. And what makes it even worse is that this was pre-meditate adulteration. I knew what I was getting myself into. This is tearing me up inside._

_I want to tell you how and when it started but it makes me sick to my stomach. If I have been hiding this secret for so long, how long could you have been hiding a similar secret from me? You will never forgive me for this and I don't blame you but I want you too. I want you too find out and to come for me and tell me you forgive me, that you understand. How selfish am I? To want my husband to love me and to show me he loves me._

_These are the things I know about life:_

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

_If you have love, it will be all right._

_I love you._

_Your family will always be there._

_I love you._

_Even if someone hurts you so bad, if you love them, you can always forgive them._

_I love you._

_These things I know about you and me:_

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

_I will always regret doing this to you._

_I love you._

_I will never stop being sorry._

_I love you. _

_I am sorry now as I write this._

_I love you._

_You and I will be okay. This will just be a blip on our radar, a blemish on our story._

I love you.

You will not come after me but you will forgive me and you and I will go back to being the way we were.

_I love you. _

We will be happier because we will be stronger.

I love you.

You love me so much more than I deserve. So much more.

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

_I love you, Logan. I love you more than you will ever know. So much it breaks my heart to do this. I am ripping us apart. Because I think it is the right thing to do but if we aren't together, how can it be right? It can't be._

_I know that I am taking what we have for granted. I am so scared that when I come to my senses and you come to yours, that you will realize you don't love me and you never have and I, although I deserve to be, will be crushed. I am so scared that you wont take me back and yet, it isn't enough to compel me to stay because I am so scared that you are going to do to me what I am doing to you._

_I know you wont want to but please understand. I am not doing this because I hate you. I am not doing this because I want you to hate me. I am not doing this because I am in love with another man because I could never be. I am not doing this because I want to. I'm doing this because I have to. For me._

_This is so painful. I can't even imagine to conceive how you are feeling. Left in the dark for so long._

I love you, Logan.

She didn't sign it. She knew she didn't need too.

-

"Logan," Rory called tentatively. She knocked lightly on the door before pushing it open.

"I can't see you right now," he whispered. She nodded, even though he couldn't see her, and bit her lip nervously.

"What about the party?" she choked. "What about…"

"I'll be there later," he replied. "Give my apologies to Emily."

"Of course," she whispered. She stumbled out of the doorway and out the front door.

All their brave talk about fighting and about never being pulled apart again, was it just that? Just talk?

-

"You're late," Emily greeted her at the door. "And you look upset."

"Sorry, Grandma," Rory said, handing her coat to the maid. She kissed Emily's cheek and walked inside. "The place looks beautiful."

"Thank you," Emily beamed. "Where's Logan?"

"Oh, he got caught up on a long-distance phone call," she replied, flippantly. "He should be here soon."

"Actually, I think I see him now," Emily said, peering out the front door which had yet to be closed.

"Where?" Rory asked, her heart leaping. She whirled around and saw him rushing towards the house. She smiled and choked back a sob. "I'll be right back."

"But Rory," Emily started. She sputtered when Rory whirled past her, brown hair flying behind her, and ran down the path into Logan's arms. Her face softened as Logan took Rory into his arms and twirled her around. He bought her back to the floor and whispered something to her. Rory beamed, though there were tears, and Logan kissed her. Emily shook her head and sighed. "Those two are impossible."

-

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "For making you feel like you had to leave."

"Don't apologise," she replied. "This isn't your fault."

"I must have made you feel unloved, I must have made you feel like I was going to leave at any moment," he continued. "It did break my heart and I was so angry at you that I never thought it might have broken your heart too. I just thought you wanted to hurt me because you hated me, not because you were scared of getting hurt. I know, at the hospital, you told me that but I never said anything about it."

"How can we hurt each other so much?" she asked, leaning into him.

"Because we love each other," he explained. "I don't understand it but we always hurt the people we love."

"I didn't think you were going to come," Rory whispered.

"I wasn't going too but after twelve seconds, I realize that I wasn't fighting for you if I was letting you walk out the door without even trying to talk," he admitted.

"This has to stop," she said, adamantly. "This hurt and this pain, it has to stop. We can't do this to each other anymore."

"How do we make it stop?" he asked.

"I don't know," she admitted. "But we have to try."

-

Logan pulled a blanket over them.

"Why are we doing this again?" he asked, as a cool breeze floated past and made him shiver.

"We're recreating our first date," she smiled.

"We never had a first date," he replied, confused.

"Oh, didn't we?" she replied, furrowing her brow. "I guess I meant we were having a first date."

"And what do you do on first dates?" Logan asked.

"Lots of this," she said, snuggling into him. "If you really like the person."

"And do you like me?"

"Shh. My husband might hear. He gets mighty jealous," Rory whispered.

"I'm sure he does with a beautiful girl like you," Logan laughed. He tilted Rory's head to his. "Hey."

"Hey," she smiled. He bent down and kissed her. She laughed and pushed him away. "You can't do that on a first date!"

"I don't think I want this to be a first date anymore," he murmured, running his hand up her leg.

"Logan," she muttered, pushing him away. She gestured around at their grounds. "Not here."

"Can I take you inside then?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. She frowned and glared at him. "Come on, Ace. This is silly. Right now, I don't want to pretend we're dating, I want to know that we're married and that I can do anything I want with you."

"Fine," she sighed, giving in. "It's getting cold anyway."

"Oh, I'm sure that's it," Logan replied dryly. He helped her to her feet and then swung her into his arms."

"Hey!" she cried.

"Sorry, lady. I have to do this properly."

"Then kiss me," she murmured.

And he did.


	17. These Things I Know

**Gilmore Girls**

**These Things I Know**

**A/N:** Okay, this is REALLY the end. I can't take this story further without compromising it. I tried to stay true to the story and I'm scared I've written it too fairytale-ish and we all know TTIK hasn't been fairytale-ish. Anyway, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for all the support. I had no idea the story would be this popular and you guys really have no idea how much your reviews made my days. Happy reading! Genevra.

**Summary:** You might finally have what you thought you always wanted but the truth is this- you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls in anyway.

* * *

**Epilogue:** These Things I Know

* * *

Rory picked up the pen and began to write. The words slipped from her fingers and hands to the paper effortlessly. Her mind began formulating sentences and words so quickly that she began to fear she would have an aneurysm.

She vaguely heard the study door open and out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw Logan stick his head in but he was gone so quickly, she wasn't quite sure.

There are few things I know in life but there are some truths and I leave them with you.

No matter how much somebody hurts you or how badly they betray you, nothing is unforgivable.

No matter how much something is broken or into how many pieces, nothing is unfixable.

You can hide so much from one person for so long, even the person you love most or are closest too, and if you never tell them, they will never know.

I'm sorry and I love you are five of the hardest words to say, especially in the same sentence but if you don't say them and you don't mean them, things can be worse.

They say, if it isn't broke, don't fix it, but if it isn't broken, how can it be fixed?

Love is all you need. Everything else helps, because you cant live on love, but you cant live without it.

Sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

The tone of the letter changed quickly and she found herself writing it to Logan.

_I knew you would hate me but I knew you would miss me. I knew we would be together again. Even after I broke everything there was to be broke, I knew we would go back to where we were._

_Life wasn't perfect and I was unhappy. I know what I did was extreme, but I didn't know what else to do. Nothing but extreme gets your attention._

_I hope you didn't think my heart wasn't breaking too because it was and it did. I felt horrible. I felt awful. I was willingly tearing apart something that was never meant to be torn._

_I thought I wanted to feel loved again, I thought I wanted to feel safe, I thought I wanted to feel secure and I thought Dean could give me that but all I wanted was to be loved by you._

_I wanted to hurt you before you hurt me but the truth is, I should have known you were never going to hurt me._

_Everything I wrote, everything I said was a pitiful excuse. I knew what I was doing and I did and I have to pay the price._

_You shouldn't have too._

She stopped writing suddenly as the tears fell down her face and blotted the writing on the paper. The door opened again and Logan walked in with a large mug.

"I made you coffee," he announced. She smiled gratefully and reached out for the mug. He leant in to kiss her first. "You know the rules. You have to make my kind gesture seem worth it."

She gladly kissed him, sliding her hands up his back and into his hair. She pulled him closer and made the kiss deeper.

"Worth it?" she asked.

"If only every cup of coffee delivered the same," he sighed. He looked down at her mottled piece of paper. "What are you writing?"

"Nothing," she said, quickly.

"Can I read this nothing?" he asked. She closed her eyes and opened him, surveying the piece of paper. He could never see it, not when they were trying so hard to move on. She calmly ripped the piece of paper from her notepad and scrunched it. Logan looked at her as if she was crazy. "Hey! What did you do that for?"

"It was stupid anyway," she replied, bravely. She smiled at him. "I'm going to burn it, that's how bad it is."

"But you know the rules, I get to read everything that's written in my study," he protested. Rory stood up and walked over to the fire. She dropped the page in and pretended to gasp.

"Oh my, how could I have done that? The paper must have slipped," she said, sarcastically.

"You really didn't want me to read it?" he asked.

"I really didn't want you to read it," she whispered.

"I get it," he said, quietly. He walked over and stood at the fire with her. "It was about what happened, wasn't it?"

"Yes," she admitted. "I just starting writing and all this stuff came out."

"Thank you," he said, shocking her.

"What?" she sputtered.

"Thank you for not letting me read it," he answered. She nodded and slumped against the cool wall next to the fire.

"Logan, do you remember a few weeks ago when we were in the study, all alone?" she asked, huskily. "And you held me against this very wall?"

"No," he replied, confused. She rose an eyebrow at him and smirked. The penny dropped and he grinned. "As a matter of fact, I think I do."

He moved towards her and gently kissed her on the lips.

"Oh, you can do better than that," she teased. She reached out and pulled him in. "There are only a few things I know but that is one of them."

"What's something else you know?" he asked, hovering inches away from her face.

"That I like it when you kiss me," she replied.

"Is that so?" he murmured, into her mouth. "What else?"

"That I love you," she offered.

"I like the sound of that," he purred. Rory gave up waiting and moved the two inches forward and kissed him.

"Another thing I know," she whispered, pulling away. "I hate waiting."


End file.
